November 9, 2007
-
The Daily News
1 I don't know about anyone else around here, but I LOVE Fridays. They're total goof-off days. I'd dub Fridays G.O.D.'s (Goof-Off Days) but it's borderline sacrilegious.
2 I'm VERY tolerant of borderline sacrilegious though.
3 So I just want to spend today celebrating life, knowing full well that we all generally get a little breathing room right around noon on a Friday.
4 Let's face it. NOBODY TAKES FRIDAYS SERIOUSLY!!!! <Music up> Whether you're mother or whether you're a brother you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
5 Fridays baby!!!
6 I'll bet even the Pope himself goofs off right after lunch on Fridays!!!
7 Well, almost all Fridays.
8 It's that reason and that reason alone that I would never be Pope. Besides, I'm way not good enough. You have to be pure to be a Pope. You have to be infallible. You practically have to be a guy who could stand in a window and watch as the throngs cheer!!!
9 You have to be pretty fly to be a Pope.
Pope Benedict. Notice the snappy watch.
Our people say that's pretty fly.9 Plus Pope's have to have distinguished names, like John, or Benedict, or Pius or something. You never hear of a guy named Pope Gary, or a Pope Larry, or anything like that. And if there's ever a girl Pope, her name would be Mary, or Elizabeth or something. You'll never see a Pope Gertrude, or a Pope Madge. Won't happen.
10 Moving on: Was I just hallucinating, or did I hear on the radddio that we are nine trillion dollars in debt? Is that correct? Is that even remotely accurate?
11 Obviously I already knew the answer, but I just wanted to pretend I was outraged beyond all belief. Actually I'm so numb to so much boushit these days that I couldn't care less. Honestly. These guys do whatever they want anyway.
12 Besides, we have the mint. We can just MAKE money, right?
13 The weird thing about that is that I went through every page of the Merc yesterday and not one mention or the nine trill. I went to MSN and AOL, and no mention.
14 Nine trillion dollars. How did that even BEGIN to happen? I have my idears...
15 That's what happens when you have a President in power who still hasn't moved past My Pet Goat.
16 Sometimes I think there IS a child left behind.
17 Whoops! They he go into politix agin!
18 Better back outta here.
19 Nah, Dubya's a good ol' boy, Yale guy, and a Skull-and-Boner. I hear he throws the beer cans into the back of his truck instead of out on the highway. The boy's gone green, little buckaroo.
20 He knows what Friday is about.
21 Ride high man, it's Frideeee!!! Don't take anything I have to say seriously. I'm all about nobody working after lunch, and just kickin' it into party mode tonight! All this work is for the birds. Free yourself, let your hair down, fly freely, and shake it this weekend!
22 Turn off the teevee and get out there mang. There's a whole world outsida teevee and it's just waitin' for you.
23 See a play! Go to a museum! Bicycle! Do a little dance! Any Mitch Hedberg fans out there? Here, let's jump start your day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDxBUoCN6MQ
24 Haha, and ladies and gents: most of all, live life, love life today!
25 Have a great one. Thanksgiving's just around the corner so hang in there everybody!
26 Peace.
~H~
Recent Comments