1 So ask me how yesterday went.
2 Don’t ask.
3 Haha, ever feel that way?
4 I didn’t get to the DN until like almost 1 a.m.
5 Ah, we all have days like these.
6 It’s funny though, ‘cuz if someone asked, “How’s it goin’” yesterday, you know, just to be polite, I’da wound up telling the guy.
7 I mean, come on. Nobody REALLY cares how it’s goin’. It’s just a salutation. I have a set answer to that question anyway. Here it is: Can’t complain.
8 They’ll usually follow with, “And even if you could, nobody would give a shit!”
9 But I always say that anyway. It’s just a great answer. No matter how pissy your day REALLY is, just say, “Can’t complain.”
10 It’s usually a good answer, and unless you have had some harrible thing go on, like your cat swallowed his tongue or something, it’s pretty okay to just say, “Can’t complain.”
11 Even if you can.
12 Moving on: Well, yesterday these things happened, in order: We had an earthquake drill. EVERYBODY had to get under these little teeny desks, so if you were a big person, your ass woulda been nailed by a falling beam, or shards of glass.
13 Immediately after that drill, all the fire alarms went off. Almost immediately it was called a false alarm, but our speakers weren’t loud enough so I just yelled to everyone that it was a false alarm, and I prevented the greatest exodus since Moses.
14 But nobody listened because nobody was sure it was false. Word got back that it wasn’t a false alarm, then that it was, then that it wasn’t, etc.
15 Turns out that some science teacher started like around the seventeenth fire since October.
16 So we returned to class. A student asked, “Now what are we going to do?”
17 I told him that we were going to prepare for a Locust Drill.
18 He looked at me like I had ten heads.
19 Still later, I needed to meet with the head custodian, who was by the elevators.
20 Yep, you heard correctly. The Chill has elevators. When I was in high school, we used to sell elevator tickets to freshmen for fifty cents, even though we didn’t have any elevators.
21 Turns out that four students were stuck in the elevator. They tried to hold the door but it didn’t work, so the door jammed almost completely closed, so that you could only get your nose and mouth through the opening.
22 The guys were actually in there legitimately, at least two of them who had game legs. Two others were just their buddies who didn’t have game legs, but who wanted just to hang out in the elevators.
23 I stuck my nose through the opening just enough to say, “Hey fellas! This job sure has its ups and downs, dontcha think?”
24 <thud>
25 Ask me how my day went yesterday.
26 Can’t complain.
27 Godspeed.
~H~
http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
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