September 3, 2007
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The Daily News
1 Hot enough for ya?2 I swear.
3 I told you about my neighbor who always says that every time it hits 100.
4 The guy is a scream. If you're in your driveway washing your car, he'll come up and say, "When you're finished washing your car, you wanna come over and wash mine?"
5 Hardy har har.
6 Right after I wrote about the guy the other day, I walked out in front.
7 "Hot enough for ya?"
8 Oy. I left out the quip about his wife though. For one thing, it's fun to think about, but to say, nah.
9 Plus she isn't too far from looking dead-on like a nanny goat.
10 Not much news these lazy days. They call them the dawg days.
11 Moving on: I've been working on my daughter's laptop for awhile now. Like most computers it has its little annoyances.
12 For example, you'll be typing along typing along when you'll notice that the cursor has jumped up somewhere else on the page. Often you have to look around for it.
13 If you've ever been to Vegas or Reno/Tahoe you might be familiar with a slot machine called Haywire. I've written of it before.
14 What happens is that if you hit a jackpot it holds for a second, and then the machine starts spinning again and again, out of control. You don't know if you're going to make a billion dollars or walk away with nothing. It's as if a ghost is pulling the slot machine's handle and seems to be gambling with your money.
15 This computer does that. Plus it will suddenly jump some entire new page right in your path, blocking any work you might do. Sometimes it's horrifying: one page had to do with warts, the other hemorrhoids. Yoiks.16 Maybe it senses that there's a troll working here on this end.
17 Just a minute ago it has some dame in a towel. Okay, so it wasn't the stuff of trolls but it was a bit annoying. Ah, she was pretty and all, but I like to attempt some semblance of a train of thought when I write, and that wasn't really playing very fair.
18 So yeah, doing the DN is no walk in the park.
19 Or maybe sometimes it's a little too much a walk in the park.
20 Yeesh.
21 They just shouldn't give you three-day weekends, especially this early in the school year. Or late in the summer. Or whatevuh.
22 People get that "pretend' thing. You know the one. They want to kick it by a pool, or have one last huge barbecue, or throw down one final sno-cone before giving in to the falling leaves and Halloween decor that accompanies the Fall.
23 Somehow it just doesn't quite work. When you really look around, the air mattresses are flat and dirty; the lawn has leaves all over it; the flowers are turning rusty and the heat wants to kill ya.
24 It's a right of passage. Fall is football, back-to-school sales, summer stuff on tables in front of stores, all gone, price tags ripped and torn, and the stuff just not looking as fun anymore.
25 It's always an interesting transition, whether you work around education or not.
26 It's an annual ritual, beginning with the resumption of school followed immediately by scorchingly irritating weather.
27 The best thing to do is to find shade. And if you DO find shade, and then you happen to glance over and see a neighbor, just ask him this question:
"Hot enough for ya?"
28 Stay cool.29 Peace.
~H~
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