1 I wish I would listen a little more carefully to the news. I heard a couple of guys talking on KNBR last night that one of the recent Kentucky Derby horses was gay.
2 Now, I heard somewhere that given ten horses, one is gay.
3 It's always fun watching the rest of the planet try to catch up with what's real.
4 Gay horses.
5 Sorta defeats the purpose of being a horse.
6 Such fun.
7 Moving on: And then in the middle of the night the radio had some news piece about how scientists are convinced that neckties are unhealthy. They use the argument that nobody ever washes a necktie.
8 For years I always felt that the necktie was the single most useless item of clothing.
9 I guessed that they were originally a form of napkin. If you saw all the spills on my neckties, you'd probably agree.
10 Same reason people think beards are unhealthy. I had a beard, years ago. I noticed that beards were a) scratchy, and b) habitats for all sorts of things like eggs, bacon, caterpillars, birds, and perhaps even leprechauns.
11 I added leprechauns just to boast that I know how to spell it.
12 Anyway, yeah ties are unhealthy and unhygienic. Go figure. First time I've seriously worn ties in years and suddenly they could cause people to go over.
13 Ah, vell...
14 I was serious about declaring neckties the single most useless item of clothing. It was one of those non-issues that you would bring up to your friends in college so you could have drunken arguments over it.
15 Naturally, I never drank in college, but I did like to stir up a good topic at a college bash.
16 I'd just say something like, "Neckties are useless, and just a superfluous piece of clothing with utterly no point to them." I'd hope that everyone would stir it up and kick it around.
17 Needless to say, it would break into an immense debate, and people would take sides.
18 It'd always be fun to see a couple of guys going at it, and one guy dropping a beer bottle on the other's noggin just because of me.
19 Sorta like beets. I see no use for that food. In fact, there isn't too much red food that I find really worth eating. But I never saw a point to eating beets.
20 I always run across someone who LOVES those things, but frankly, I just see no point. I'm not saying they're bad; they're just there.
21 Moving on: Did I tell you that I heard on the radio that some Kentucky Derby horse was gay?
22 DAY-um.
23 You guys have a good day.
24 Hump day.
25 Some camels are gay too, just thought I'd let you know.
26 I'd better go.
27 Have a good one.
28 Peace.
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