2 I thought they looked really spiffy, shiny, and black for once. VERY dressy.
3 Self-made man.
4 I set out for the Thea-tuh on Saturday night, extensivley to see Debbie Boone and Francis Jue in The King and I. I gave up on trying to get people to go and just went.
5 I bought some high-rent tickets too. $13.75 and we were sitting in the balcony at the CPA, just like the old days. I LOVED it. I hadn’t set foot in the place for years and it was nice dressing a little high-end and going off to the Thea-tuh.
6 My favorite thing was looking down at my shoes. They were so militarily shiny and bold!
7 I didn’t want everyone to know I wanted to look as though I was looking at the audience below, but then I’d sneak a peek at my shoes. Looking down became the order of the night. I could do so without bringing any attention to myself, which is what self-made man does.
8 The funny part is, I have w-i-d-e feet. So I bought those shoes in 11 W, which means they should have been plenty wide. The 11 is the size, and the W means it is w-i-d-e.
9 When i put them on, I felt some villain had tricked me! They cinched, squeezed. Instant pain. Screaming pain.Just add foot. I wanted to murder whoever had labeled that shoe with the W. I tried to put them on using a soup spoon as a shoe horn.
11 Hey Uri, ya listenin’?
15 Suddenly, they fit! No more torture! I had visions of writing a Poe-esque story of a guy who attends a play and his shoes hurt so badly that at the end of the first act, he leaps from the balcony to a grand chandelier over the audience, and then, just when his pain and ire overwhelm him, he starts the entire place on fire.
17 I just said that because it sounds cool. 19 So no Poe story. Sorry. 20 The thing that I found extraordinary is that later in the night, I looked down and saw that my shoelace had loosened once more, and this time it had come undone! 21 I realized that I couldn’t look like a self-made man if I was to spend the evening tying my shoelaces every five minutes. 23 Fortunately, the show had some quieter passages and love ballads, and it was during a love ballad that I discreetly tied my shoe once more. 24 After the show, I kept glancing down at my wonderful new shoes, just to goof on them, and to check the laces. I even thought of this story I had read in third grade, a story about a kid who was so ensconced in his new shoes that he loses his mom downtown because he just keeps walking and watching his feet. 25 Of course a friendly policeman rescues him and he eventually finds his worried mom. 27 In my head, I’m thinking, “ALL YOU DO IS MAKE SHOELACES!!!! MAKE THEM LACE MY SHOE AND STAY THERE, WILLYA????” 28 But I remained cool. Relaxed. Confident. I just hoped nobody would look down. 29 I tried to buy alternate laces early yesterday morning but those laces are around an eighth of an inch thick, and the holes on the shoe are around the size of a pinhole. The aglets would get through, but the lace would curl and look quite horrid. 30 And my thoughts to Shoelace Design Guy: “THIS IS ALL YOU DO!!!!! ???” 31 But to the world, I put my chin up and walked off into the remainder of the day, cool, relaxed. 32 Do you expect any less from a self-made man?16 But discretion, they say, is the better half of valor.
18 Actually what happened was that my feet felt instantly better once the tops had stretched to fit.
22 I had to hope nobody saw the plastic string hanging over one side of my shoe like a drunken castle guard.
26 But I got out of that daydream when I looked down and they had loosened AGAIN.
33 Have a lovely day.
34 Peace.
1 In the middle of writing this piece last night, I heard word that the 49ers were leaving San Francisco. I was born a 49er fan, never given the choice, so this was pretty earth-shaking news to me. I was crestfallen, bewildered, and out of all sorts of sorts. I already was spinning and reeling about the A’s, and now this. Imagine Candlestick Park all alone out there with just the howling winds and the ghost voices of the bay.
2 As Paul Harvey put it, there go the Olympics.
3 Ah, those are the sacrifices one makes.
4 Moving on: Monday I was handed some way jingoistic Veteran’s Day CD by the Boss, and was asked to write something up for the morning bulletin. That just borders on political, and as anyone knows, I’m very apolitical. No opinions outta this boy. No sirree.
5 Well, of course I balked. It isn’t that I have a thing against Veteran’s Day, but I do have a huge challenge with the day moving away from it’s original intention, which was to celebrate the Armistice at the end of World War I. Here is the text of what I shall read this morning:
6 According to Wikipedia, Armistice Day was “The anniversary of the official end of World War I, November 11, 1918. It commemorates the Armistice signed between the Allies and Germans…for the cessation of hostilities on the Western Front, which took effect at 11 o’ clock in the morning, the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.”
7 Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. in his introduction to Breakfast of Champions, had this to say about that moment in our history:
“It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one and another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.”
8 The reason we have tomorrow off school is that we are honoring all of our Veteran’s who have been on those battlefields, many of whom had hoped or dreamed of hearing the voice of God. Many never did. All of them wanted that sort of peace.
9 Look up at the clock this morning at 11 a.m. and stop for a minute and think of the intention of this solemn day, November 11. Think and honor all those who have lost their lives in senseless wars, and of the sadness many of them have carried with them. Think of the families of all who have sacrificed so much in these endeavors. Think also of the hopes and dreams of Armistice Day, the moment that all soldiers on the Western Front of World War I heard all the bombs suddenly stop, and on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, the true wish of all soldiers occurred: a true peace, and a new hope for all of mankind. Dedicate a moment of your day today to that reflection.
10 That’s about it in terms of today’s DN. It’s actually a dress rehearsal AND a script for what I will be reading on the bulletin this fine morning.
11 It’s a nice piece, but not as good as the complete text of the Vonnegut intro, which carries with it a bit more Truth. This will be the third year in a row that I have shared this memorable piece with the DN readers. Please enjoy, and take it with you into the weekend.
12 Note: Vonnegut’s reference to 1922 was a reference to his own birthday, and not an historical inaccuracy. Duly delivered.
13 Here is the remainder of his lovely words about Armistice Day, repeated again especially for the DN readership. Hope you appreciate these amazing words:
So this book is a sidewalk strewn with junk, trash which I throw over my shoulders as I travel in time to November eleventh, nineteen hundred and twenty-two.
I will come to a time in my backwards trip when November eleventh, accidentally my birthday, was a sacred day called Armistice Day. When I was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month.
It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one and another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.
Armistice Day has become Veterans’ Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans’ day is not.
So I will throw Veterans’ Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don’t want to throw away any sacred things.
What else is sacred? Oh, Romeo and Juliet, for instance.
And all music is.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Breakfast of Champions
That’s it.
Peace.
~H~
http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
2 So last night Dennis-the-Menace’s father gives the speech of his life.
3 Next time around, he has my vote.
4 Actually, I gave him my vote mainly because I felt sorry for the guy.
5 Fun election for once. I actually had a few victories. Nothing like watching an entire evening of returns, and good, honest politicians.
6 Glad-handers and baby kissers. Those guys are all teeth.
7 Well, that’s about enough about elections. I still think that next timeI’m just going to vote for Oat Willy.
8 Looks like something is haunting my puter tonight. It’s going wonky.
9 Let’s hope it holds up until we fight through all this, because the DN is a fun goof.
10 Moving on: yesterday’s Merc News had a great interview with Pete Townshend, songwriter and chief guru of the Who. The article, written by writer Shay Quillen, was originally going to be a phone interview, but when Towshend wouldn’t sit down with Quillen, Quillen asked if he would answer a few e-mail questions.
11 Townshend agreed, and when Quillen sent off his questions, he happened to catch Townshend in the same room he was in when he heard of the death of bass guitarist John Entwistle on June 27, 2002.
12 Townshend responded with a lengthy e-mail, and it was a pretty interesting insight into the time immediately following the death of Entwistle.
Rock legend Pete Townshend.
13 The article wound up practically being written by Townshend and was a rare modern glimpse into the mind of rock’s great innovator.
14 He tells of those terrible hours right after “the Ox” had passed. Years earlier the band had to endure the death of their drummer Keith Moon, arguably the most colorful drummer in rock history.
15 It was a fun read, and you can access the entire article at www.mercurynews.com/music. Hopefully it’s still there.
16 At one point Qullin pointedly took Townshend on the carpet for his selling out to CSI. Here is the question, and Townshend’s quick reply. I hope you enjoy it; it is the man himself in very few words:
Quillen: Some have criticized you for giving the CSI
shows the right to use Who songs. How do you respond?
Townshend: I am conscious that every song I license to TV or
movie–especially the good ones–even to certain commercials,
keeps Who music in the public mind.
Remember, Who music has always been used to sell
products through the advertising on radio, which we
did not control. We are always paid a small amount
when our songs are played on radio, wo we have al-
ways been a part of that often unethical but
commercial advertising business, just
as a journalist is who writes for a journal
that sells advertising space.
17 Okay, so Pete could have used a bit of a goosing in the grammar department, but then
the DN tears into grammar rules on a daily basis. I just right it off as exhaustion and whatever else I could pin it on. On which I could pin it.
18 Who cares?
19 Here is a classic album cover from a who album entitled The Who Sell Out, which came out right between Tommy and Quadrophenia. Towhshend always was ahead of his time.
…and the back…
20 Anyway, Anywhere, Anyhow, that’s the Who in a nutshell, or in baked beans. Brilliant band, and they’ll be over at the Tank tonight. At least the two fellows in the picture above will be, and they are both amazingly intelligent, funny, and incredible artists.
Tonight live at the Arena.
21 I said my peace on the Stones. I’ll leave you with Townshend’s words on their mates from across the way,
and the Merc News opinions on which band is greater:
Townshend: The Stones are “greater.” But the Who
are probably best musically right now. We carry less
baggage, but as a result we may also convey less
magic. Simply seeing Mick and Keith standing on the
stage together rocks my world.
Both bands are far too old and successful to even worry
about all this, but I think perhaps we do. Mick is competitive,
know. But he is also incredibly supportive…I will always be
a fan of the Stones until the day I die. They helped shape me.
22 They helped shape a lot of us. So did The Who. Ya gotta love it.
23 That’s it for today.
24 Peace.
~H~
2 I think by the time I found my voting place, most of the results were already in.
3 But I voted anyway. I voted for Dennis-the-Menace’s father I think just because I felt sorry for the guy.
4 While channel-surfing last night, I tuned into one station that was at his headquarters, awaiting the victorious news from the final polls.
5 The newsguy, noticing the sparcity of enthusiasm, said words to this effect: “Some say that this is like waiting for a wedding where everyone knows the groom isn’t going to show up.”
6 What a waste of balloons that guy was.
7 I was surprised because for once, a lot of things I voted for passed.
8 Now we’re all in big trouble.
9 Arnold’s victoy speech praising his “valonteers” moved me deeply. It moved me to the other room.
10 His speech sounded more like a memorized script, which of course, it probaby was since he didn’t really even need to campaign.
11 At least palitics can be more about finding cammen ground. Nice to hear him saying a few verds. Caulifornia, it would appeah, iss in good hahnnz.
12 Moving on: all that talk yesterday about the Stones, and we almost forgot that the Who play tonight at the Tank.
13 Well, The Who-Light.
14 Great interview with Pete Townshend in yesterday’s Merc News. Reporter Shay Quillen, after not getting much in terms of a phone interview, asked Townshend if he might answer a few e-mail questions.
15 Townshend happened to be in the same room in Los Angeles where he first heard word that their awesome bass guitarist John Entwistle had died. They had already lost one of the greatest rock drummers in history, Keith Moon,to years of hard-living. Entwhistle met the same demise.
16 His e-mail reply turned into a pretty interesting story of the post-Enthistle/Moon Who.
2 That’s not William Styron at the top of the page.
3 That’s not even a book by William Styron, who wrote Sophie’s Choice.
4 He wrote Lie Down in Darkness and The Confessions of Nat Turner as well, but he’s probably best remembered for Sophie’s Choice.
5 He didn’t write Cowpokes Ole Jake; some guy named Ace Reid did.
6 Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. had this to say about Styron: “He was dramatic, he was fun. He was strong and proud and he was awfully good with the language. I hated to see him end this way.” Styron died of pneumonia, which is spelled with a “p”.
7 Here’s a picture of the real William Styron:
9 Moving on:
I find that I always seem to take a peek at the obituaries in the Merc each day, just to make sure I’m still walkin’ around. I don’t want to go outta here with some little kid talking to Bruce Willis and saying, “I see fat hat people.” ; ) <—-sideways winky guy who always seems to find his way into the DN.10 Toothless fat hat people if I keep chewing on all this Halloween chocolate.
11 Moving on: I hate like heck to move on from Halloween chocolate, but something just jumped off the Eye, the entertainment section of yesterday’s Merc News. They’re advertising for The King and I, starring Debby Boone and Francis Jue, with tickets as low as $13.75! Well, they also give the range for prices as $13.75-$73.
12 Debby Boone is famous for touching her forehead and singing You Light Up My Life, and…and…
Steven Tyler of Aerosmith
I’D REPORT HIM TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES WERE IT NOT SO DAMNED FUNNY! HE CALLED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CRUE SET AND HELD HIS PHONE UP AS PROOF, AND HAD TO HANG UP JUST AS STEVEN TYLER AND THE BOYS TOOK THE STAGE.
NHAT IS A WRITER FOR THE FICTICIOUS OSOKIN NEWS, AT LEAST ACCORDING TO THE VARIOUS CARDS HE HAS HANGING FROM HIS LANYARD. THEY DON’T QUESTION HIM BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A KOREAN INTELLECTUAL WRITER IN A BLUE BLAZER. WHAT THE HELL DO THEY KNOW ANYWAY? THE BOY HAS BALLS.
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO THE DAILY NEWS. PEACE.
13 Whoa, that was a fun one. Nhat. He wants to see what he calls the Triple Crown of Rock this week: Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, and The Who. Motley Crue was just thrown in as dessert before the feast. In some sort of strange way, he isn’t really lying. He IS reporting it. And if he wants to be his own reporter for his own news agency, why not? It’s free enterprise, no? As an added bonus, Van Morrison is opening for the Stones!
14 Ya gotta love it. I keep telling him that he’s going to go to prison if he doesn’t watch it, but I still can’t help giggling. If you saw his credential you’d swear it was real. It has a location at One Embarcadero Center in San Francisco, a fax number, an e-mail address, phone, cell, etc. He’s only been stopped once.
15 Technically, he could be working on a book.
16 Anyway, it makes Debby Boone pale in comparison, but getting back, tickets are on sale for Rodgers and Hammerstein’s The King and I, and you can get seats for as low as $13.75 by calling 408.453.1523 or e-mailing lwashington@amtsj.org. I guarantee this show will be awesome, but I’m a rare Rodgers and Hammerstein fan.
17 et cetera et cetera et cetera
18 The Stones’ great underrated song I’m Free just came on a commercial for Chase.
19 Everyone’s a sellout these days. How is Nhat anything but a rebel?
20 I guess the Stones cancelled the weekend because Mick had laryngitis. Hey, at his age, why not just do the Milli-Vanilli thing?
21 I never really did know which guy was Milli and which guy was Vanilli.
22 Another commercial just shouted in my left ear, “Cat got your tongue?”
23 Synchronicity baby, it’s electric and everywhere.
24 Or I just turned the page in the Eye and it says November 5, which is this Sunday, but right next to it, it says “NEXT WEEKEND!”.
25 So Nhat might just hurry on to the Coliseum parking lot and wind up getting mugged this Sunday. Happy Raider fans live under bridges over in those parts.
26 You can’t be too careful.
27 Party time. Friday comes swiftly these days.
28 Rock on, see ya Monday.
29 Peace.
~H~
2 My immersion into an entire new life has been exciting and interesting, and highly unlike me. As a general rule, I dislike change; there’s something quite nice about stability, and a feeling that you really could go home again.
3 And yet, this new life I’ve gotten into is really interesting and fun! I feel like a guy who has gone away to college; it’s SUCH a drastic change that it has gathered me up and put me on this strange planet.
4 And I got caught up in it too. Nothing seems more important to me these days than trying to figure out how to improve on this challenging new world, and how to take my best qualities and help improve an entire world. It’s insane, it’s wild, it’s frustrating, but it’s also triumphant and electric. It feels like my first year teaching, only I’ve been around the block and I can kick back at anyone, any time. Maverick. Gunslinger. Bad Ass Bill.
6 The only thing is, every now and again it all stops, and you are standing alone asking yourself, “Who ARE all these people? How did I EVER get here?” And for one brief moment you think of the familiar again, and you find great comfort there.
7 Because let’s face it: as life moves on, we lose ourselves drastically in the process.
8 Ah, we put it out there that we are conquering heroes moving mountains and shaking lands in our new digs.
9 But every now and again the Great Loneliness sets in, and we are grimly gripped with the uncomfortable thought, “Who ARE these people?”
10 They seem like old chums, like best friends, like new friends whom we have met swiftly, and in whom we have already gathered a modicum of trust.
11 But once in a while we look down at our feet. In my case, I see the familiar. I see the Old Brown Shoe, and I wonder deeply where the Hell I am.
12 People fly at me every two minutes, and I help them, or guide them, or entertain them. Or duck from them. Or fight back with all I have. This happens daily. Then it seems to calm itself in the early part of the afternoon. It’s always then that I look in the sky and see the same sun, and the same clouds, and the same sky as everybody I ever knew, and it’s peaceful once more.
13 I glance to the hills, and smile a poignant smile.
14 I gather who I am, think about my parents, my childhood, my family, my career at YB, and I’m suddenly a wretched mess.
15 But I take a deep breath and enjoy the day. I’m glad to be alive, and I’m glad that I have such an amazing new life. It’s exciting, fun, insane, but never boring. I’m suddenly proud of all I’ve accomplished in so little time, more than I ever have in my entire life. This is by far one of the greatest challenges I have ever encountered.
16 Perspectively, I think of Jeff over in Iraq, or maybe Sunshine in Germany, or of my mom and dad, facing all the challenges they have to face, and I count my blessings.
17 I’m alive, and I have a lot to offer this community. I have people I didn’t even know twelve weeks ago demanding things of me, bossing me, having disdain for me, and just waiting to watch me step the wrong way once, and to tumble down this rocky hill.
18 I have others who already have joined in my posse, who want to take all of this on right along side me, like other gunslingers who know they have to step up and do it, because the adjusting time is over, and this is life.
19 This is my life. Not what it was before.
20 I miss people. I miss YB. I miss home. I miss normal.
21 But I chose this path.
22 And I now stick my neck out for nobody.
23 Because after all, I have a saloon to run.
24 Peace.
7 I made it pretty dark, and began telling them the Heidi Chronicles, just like the wise old sage I know I am. At first, they didn’t quite get it, but soon, we all got into a groove, because that story just draws you in. I talked of Jason, and of Paul, one of our faithful DN readers, by the way! And of the entire fun story of Abraham Lincoln, and of the same scene we had written during the day playing on television that night, and the fact that the Creative Consultant, or some credit, was given to Heidi, no last name.
8 I had to leave out the things that went on last year. No time.
9 So here ya go: when I was writing the play Lovebirds, and had been going through a bit of a mourning process while writing it, I had thought of this ending with Vincent Van Gogh, and Starry NIght and all, but my sadness over so many sad things last fall kept me from remembering that idea. So I went to Camp Everytown, and had such a great camp last year that I came back and swore I wouldn’t think about all the stuff that was bothering me anymore. I was going to stay WAY away from all the coincidences and things as well. I wound up having a remarkable time at Camp Everytown, and felt cured of all of this nonsense. I was DONE with it.
10 After the camp, I thought, “Forget all those coincidences and strange things, time to move on with your life!” I turned on my television and the film Serendipity was on, you know, the movie all about synchronicity, the one with John Cusack. So much for putting away all thoughts of synchronicity.
11 So I watched this whole film about some couple who meet and life coincidences eventually get them together. I thought it was cute, but I was sort of ready to start getting that stuff out of my life.
12 I also knew I had to write an ending to the play, because it was going up in two weeks. Nice to have an ending! But alas! The Camp had erased anything I had been thinking about prior to camp. I was BRAINWASHED! It felt great!
13 I decided to stay off the computer, and to hand-write the ending. The only challenge: I couldn’t remember the ending I had written. I didn’t even remember it was going to be about Vincent Van Gogh. So I began writing the last scene, the sort of argument scene between the girl and the boy, and got stuck. I sat staring at the TeeVee, and instantly, I saw Vincent Van Gogh in 3-D on that show Medium. It then went to Starry Night, and then to his suicide.
22 Still more: Within a week or two, I had gone to Carmel, and walked into a small store. I saw a music box that said My Favorite Things. I picked it up and looked at it, and when I pulled it back, it was blocking another music box that had Starry Night on it.
23 I finally got to the point that I needed rest from the play, and from all the strange goings on, but I thought I might read about synchronicity in this book entitled You’ll See It When You Believe It byDr. Wayne Dyer anyway. But alas! I couldn’t find the book! So I decided to watch a little TeeVee. I clicked it on, and Dr. Wayne Dyer was on the channel that was on already! Within fifteen minutes, he did a pledge break, and came back. Behind him was..Van Gogh’s Starry Night.
24 And so it goes…there were so many stories like that last year that it was off the hook. No chance of keeping up with it all. Very many of you had things going on also, so it’s just too much to write on the Heidi Chronz tonight.
25 So I’ll leave it with this: yesterday I was telling my Freshmen the Heidi Chronz, and when I began talking about the part where the lights adjusted the stars and the singer during Ship of Fools, the lights in the hallway, which I couldn’t turn off before we started, suddenly blacked out.
26 Still more: The day I went up to the Chill on the Hill for the first day of work, a car pulled up right in front of me, at the Ruby stoplight.
27 The license plate read High T 2.
28 I smiled, and drove forward with a smile.
29 We had arrived.
30 Peace.
–George Harrison/The Beatles
