November 16, 2006
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The Daily News
This guy is arguably the
stupidist fellow on the planet.1 You know, it’s old news, and it’s like at this point, who really cares? But O.J. Simpson is either guiltier than sin, or he is the biggest public idiot in history.2 And if I were a parent of someone that was tragically murdered that night, I’d want to cut his nuts off with a searing knife regardless at this phase in the story.
3 Just on stupidity alone he should become a mononut.
4 Well, that’s about all the press I intend to throw that way. But I just had to throw that in.
5 Moving on: New show: Daybreak. Personal review: Gonna be a great show.
6 I actually have nothing to base that on except that it sounds cool in the background as I write this stuff. Some guy keeps living his life over and over again. Or something.
7 I kept cranking my neck last night trying to watch the show.
8 All of a sudden “Here Comes Santa Claus” just came on the TeeVee.
9 Don’t even TELL me that it’s Christmas season already.
10 Actually, it’s a lot easier this year than in years past. I remember the days of directing a Show. It seemed that summer had just ended, and that we’d begin the Fall show a few weeks in. I’d go into the Show like a madman in a fun house, ideas flying about like confetti, and ideas generating ideas, and nothing but insanity going full blast at locomotive speed.
11 But inevitaby I’d find myself with eyes popping out, ready to blow an aorta by Thanksgiving. I would be so exhausted that nothing would make sense but another rehearsal. My eyes would go bloodshot, and the would dart everywhere searching for a back door out of the joint, which I would find, stumble through, and then wander aimlessly looking for some sort of sign…12 I remember one Show I was so blown away that I wandered out of the Theatre and looked off into the trees, and there, high up in this one cherry tree, was a huge Santa head with a huge Santa smile. It was the classic Coke guy, staring down from the trees like those weird ghosts you read about. He was holding a Coke up in a cheery salute.
13 My eyes were blurred from exhaustion, and I thought it looked so WEIRD. It was like Santa’s head was BIG, and in a tree. All you saw was the tree, and just his hand and head floating in the cherry tree. I thought I was seeing things, because it was enormous, and a little scary.14 It turned out that it was a Coca-Cola truck with Santa’s face huge on the side, and it was just making deliveries. There was an opening in the cherry tree and that face just stared across the quad in this menacing, mocking fashion. I stared back, the sun beating down on me even though it was supposedly Winter. Santa Claus. Red face. Fierce.15 Coca-Cola.
16 Eventually Pepsi got the school district gig, but I’ll never forget seeing Santa staring down and my thinking, “There’s Santa. Dude.” It always let me know that the Show was almost here, this mocking, screaming thing called Christmas always told me that I was not going to make it.17 Directing. Ugh. No time for thing like Christmas. Ugh. Must get Show up. AH! THANKSGIVING! NO TIME FOR THANKSGIVING! MUST GET SHOW UP! TOSS! TURN! NO SLEEP! MUST GET SHOW UP!!!
18 But I would return to the Theatre after my first Santa sighting and space out in a buzzy fashion thinking about all six trillion things I needed to get done. And I’d sit and stare and get nothing done, because it would be so overwhelming.
19 Ugh. Ugh. Lovely time with family. Ugh Ugh. Gotta get back to Show…ugh.
20 And I’d look back out to the cherry trees in the distance and see Santa floating again.
21 Usually a week would have gone by and I wouldn’t have noticed. And I would then pull out all stops, realize that the break would revitalize all my jets, and I’d somehow manage to blast through and have a great Show.
22 That’s directing in a nutshell.23 I gottago. I’m not directing, but just expressing that took everything out of me.
24 Too…tired…to think.
24 Happy Christmas everybody.
25 It’s NOT? Well, then thanks for the information.
26 Has anyone else seen Santa floating in the cherry trees?
27 I think I’ll go now.
28 Peace.
29 Happy Christmas.
30 Oh. It’s NOT?
~H~http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
