1 I think my local 7-11 keeps dead bodies in the back.
2 I swear to you, because when I remove a carton of ice cream, I get it
home and it seems to bend more spoons than Uri Geller.
3 It’s Haagen-Dazs with the two dots over the top of the first “a”, triple chocolate, of course! I consider it a diet ice cream because you can’t scoop it.
4 Last week it happened with Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey! I let the carton sit on the sink overnight and it STILL was frozen.
5 By noon, it finally moved, and by dusk it began to melt.
6 I’ve been working on this new batch since Tuesday. I keep thinking something is lurking in there, like a finger. I keep thinking I’ll one day go into that 7-11 at the wrong time and discover something I shouldn’t…
7 But the freezer in that 7-11 is so cold, so frozen…it gets strange things walking through my thoughts in the middle of the night…
8 I end up walking to my refrigerator and getting out the frozen ice cream. That’s the irony. And because that freezer is clearly used as some sort of freaky morgue, my spoons bend when I finally try to dig a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.
9 Every spoon in my house is bent. I’m thinking of taking up whatever psychic science it is that bends spoons, only I fully intend to bend all the spoons in my house back to their original state. That’ll be MY gimmick. Straightening house-declaredice cream spoons. I’ll be more famous than Uri.
10 I don’t believe I’m the only one who bends spoons either. Come on. Admit it. You have at LEAST one bent spoon from when you get greedy with ice cream!
11 Haha! Come on…
12 Most people just bend one, that’s the funny thing. Like, “Oh, that’s our ice cream spoon!” The reality is that you don’t want guests to see those spoons, so you designate one as the “ice cream spoon”. Because if you DON’T do that, and the then the soup course you serve spills all over some guest, your guest will run screaming and careening out the door and down your block because the soup leaked out as though it were served from a bad ladle you purchased from Target. And your only recourse is to say, “Oops! Wrong spoon! M’bad! You had the ‘ice cream’ spoon! So sorry!” And later in the night, you sit up all night mortified.
13 Uri Geller. I pulled that guy right out of my ear.
14 Uri Geller. That’s going back. Uri Geller. That just occurred to me.
15 Our younger DN affectionados might not know of him, but all you older geezers will remember the guy. He was this psychic guy whose claim to fame was bending spoons with his “mind”. He did all sorts of other amazing things, but his spoon gimmick always wowed ‘em.
Uri and spoon. Clearly ice
cream didn’t bend this one.
16 At one point he was so popular that Michael Jackson wanted to hang out with him. If you put the both of them in a window at Halloween, you wouldn’t even need a pumpkin. They were like two peas in a proverbial pod, I swear.
Uri and Michael bemused by
something.
17 Geller’s career later went in the tank when some guy named The Amazing Randi exposed him for a charlaton. In fact, if memory serves, The Amazing Randi was this low-budget ex-magician who went around de-bunking guys like Geller and Psychic Sylvia Browne, who has been a part of the famous Heidi stories of yore. But the Amazing Randi debunked all of that stuff.
The Amazing Randi.
the psychic party-poop.
18 I remember listening to the very practical Randi, who was able to duplicate any amazing “feat” Geller would do, and who has a standing offer to debate Browne, and who has also offered a million dollars to anyone who could produce a ghost. As far as I know, Browne agreed to meet with him, but has yet to appear. So The Amazing Randi debunks her, as well as anyone who claims to have seen or heard from a ghost. So far, no takers. All fakers.
Psychic Sylvia Browne. Randi claims
she’s as phony as a three-dollar bill.
19 What a party pooper!
20 Heidi thinks he’s a fake.
21 Yes, the Theatre’s Heidi.
22 I must admit, Randi drives a hard bargain. The only thing is, he hasn’t seen nor experienced some of the strange things that have happened in the good ol’ YB Theatre.
23 I’m not sure how things are now. I seldom go in there anymore. I went there on Saturday to help get some lights up for some event or other, but it just felt normal, like nothing had
changed at all. I felt nothing.
24 But Halloween time is always a bit of a test. Last year a LOT of weird things happened in the Theatre, but when I went to write about it on Halloween night, an annual ritual I put on the www.ybdrama.com website, I couldn’t write it; the website just didn’t let me do it.
25 I don’t really recall what it was that happened last year, but a LOT of stuff was happening, much of it surrounding Van Gogh, and Starry Night, and a writer by the name of Dr. Wayne Dyer, who writes about synchronicity and coincidences.
26 I had tried to update the Heidi Chronicles every Halloween, but unfortunately I couldn’t last year.
27 Last year saw almost a record year for strange occurrences and coincidences.
28 I didn’t need to fake bending any spoons, or calling up Sylvia Browne. There are DN readers who know exactly what I’m talking about. Perhaps this Halloween I can get back up there and update some of the amazing things that happened last year.
29 Something even just happened now. There’s this mystery student who makes a unique exotic bird noise every now and again over at the school. Each time the guy does it, it sounds dead on like something you’d hear in the jungle, or in a zoo. I laugh each time, because I just think it’s sort of funny, like if I were writing a book, that would happen at certain moments in the story.
30 The exact same sound just came off the Tee Vee. You know how I write the DN with around sixty televisions blasting in the background, just a sort of aural whirlwind that I interestingly find a lot of comfort in. In which I find a lot of aural whirlwinds. Wait. With which I take much comfort. There. Better.
31 Omg.
32 I just now looked down at the ice cream carton.
33 The ice cream has disappeared, and the spoon is bent.
34 Anybody care to explain? Is the Amazing Randi in the house?
35 Who you gonna call?
36 Peace, I’m WAY outta here!
36 Have a great day!
1 I think my local 7-11 keeps dead bodies in the back.
Uri and Michael bemused by17 Geller’s career later went in the tank when some guy named The Amazing Randi exposed him for a charlaton. In fact, if memory serves, The Amazing Randi was this low-budget ex-magician who went around de-bunking guys like Geller and Psychic Sylvia Browne, who has been a part of the famous Heidi stories of yore. But the Amazing Randi debunked all of that stuff.
The Amazing Randi.18 I remember listening to the very practical Randi, who was able to duplicate any amazing “feat” Geller would do, and who has a standing offer to debate Browne, and who has also offered a million dollars to anyone who could produce a ghost. As far as I know, Browne agreed to meet with him, but has yet to appear. So The Amazing Randi debunks her, as well as anyone who claims to have seen or heard from a ghost. So far, no takers. All fakers.
