October 5, 2006
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Hey kids! It’s time for
The
1 Haha!
2 Part of the fun of writing this rag is finding some of those great pictures.I’ll spend hours and suddenly find one that will knock me out. Like Beth Kilduff and I were goofing off at some convention a few weeks ago, and she took the above picture. She sent it over the internet just today. I gotta love it!
3 Moving on:“…as a reporter you are an amateur.If you think you’ve become a professional, that you can teach lessons to the generals, you can teach lessons to the presidents, you can teach lessons to the museum directors, the chefs, you’re in trouble.”
—The late, great Johnny Apple, who walked into a bar yesterday
RW “Johnny” Apple
1934-2006
4 Aye, Johnny, we hardly knew ye…
5 Moving on, part II: So a horse walks into a bar…
6 Bartender says, “Why the long face?”
7 Thanks on this pic goes out to my goodly friend and confidant, Nathan. There’s more to the article, but this actually happened in England. A bunch of blokes were throwing down some frothy beers when this horse just walked in…just like that.
7 “Oats over,stat, barkeep!” quoth the horse.
8 “We don’t git too many critters in here ya know” quoth the bartender.
9 “And you won’t get many more at these prices!” quoth the horse. (rim shot). And out the doors he walked.
10 And what did the Raven say?
11 Quoth the Raven,”CAWWWWWW!!!!!”
12 Moving on, part III: Know what’s great? Watching all those moralists in Washington ganging up on some idiotic schlepp. I say that they just open up all their own e-mails and cookies and lay them all out there for the world to see how totally clean and moral they all are. Self righteousness should be made public, don’t you think?
2 Harper Valley dude, I swear. Harper Valley.
3 Old brown shoe reference to a dandy old song, that.
4 Moving on, part IV: It’s a ton of fun to be doing the DN a lot quicker than I used to, which means that the editing is not quite up to snuff. I keep seeing things like the word “could” being spelled “coud” and things. I always catch the stuff AFTER I’ve sent it off to digital parts unknown, but by then it’s too late.
5 It’s funny, because last year I would be up ’til all hours checking spelling, grammar, and all that rootin’ tootin’ correctness stuff, and I would STILL find blantint misplaced modz, gros mispelings, and idotic syntax, whatever that is.
6 And this year, I’m just ripping through these things a lot faster, but consquently, more mistakes fly off the page and punch everynoe in the i’s.
7 See?
8 And no matter what, it just seems to happne.
9 But come on! I actually DO know which “there” is correct and all. I think. Let’s see…there’s there, and then there’s they’re, and then there’s their and then…
10 This year I’ve been staying up just as late and getting up almost an hour-and-a half earlier AND putting up with a puter that loves to suddenly stop on you at around 1:30 a.m.
11 Last night I began at around 11, and this is all I got out of it, because the system kept throwing up hour glasses and arrows, which just kept spinning and spinning and spinning.12 So I think I’ll just beat a hasty retreat here. I had LOTS to report, but WAY too much waiting last night, for my money.13 Thanks for reading; keep comin’ back, there’s always something in the DN worth fighting for.14 Anyway, I spent forever on this one, and good LAWDEEE! Who knew? Ah, it’s a lot of fun anyway!15 I just needed to get some shut eye, so here goes my giftto you:
16 You know when you get some last minute cheap-ass gift for someone even though you shopped for them for a million gajillion hours? You guys get gift wrap today. Haha! Let’s hear it for the Dollar Tree!
17 I’m out.
18 Peace.
~H~
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