The Daily News
1 Three weeks ago, I was lazily floating in my backyard pool. At the time, I never dreamed my entire life would change as radically as it has. It hasn't been bad, quite the contrary, it's been a complete new departure, and very exciting and invigorating.
2 I'm not really sure WHAT I thought would happen. It was the dawg days of summer; I still had time to float in my pool, to watch the butterflies moving from flower to flower in my yard, and to listen to late summer baseball games. And not have to get up until I wanted to get up.
3 So the phone call that shattered all that came rather abruptly, causing me to jump into regular clothes instead of summer shorts and Hawaiin shirts, jump into the TOOONDRA, and never look back. That fast. In five minutes summer was over, and I suddenly found myself on a swirling rollercoaster with what felt like no seat belt. If it sounds like some sort of surreal nightmare, then you aren't far from the Truth. From beaches and coastal breezes, from cosmic days and nights in beautiful Tahoe, from my own peace of a summer yard, I had suddenly jumped square into the eye of a nightmare.
4 And yet it all seemed amazing as well, going from the laid back lazy hazy crazy days of summer into a hyper-tense insanity, scurrying to figure things out before the year would begin in two weeks. I had to move out of YB in a day, to put everything into storage, to call key people, to be sure that the Drama Workshop, the Pigeon Players, and ATFNL were taken care of, to meet and say good-bye to an endless parade of wonderful friends, and somehow to figure out how to do a job with almost no direction. The task was monumental, especially since I knew virtually nothing about the school I was moving into.
5 Since that time I've been to numerous meetings, have already conducted countless activities, ushered in my first football game, and yesterday completely organized an all-day Freshmen class visit with their candidates for office, culminating in a lunchtime of loud hip-hop, interviews with the candidates, posters everywhere, and school spirit shining through loud and clear. The Freshmen candidates went class-to-class giving speeches to all the Freshmen English classes, and by the end of the day, this small group from the Class of 2010 had bonded so tightly that they didn't care if they won or not, just that they vowed to stay close through the rest of their high school lives.
6 Yes. You heard it. The Class of 2010. Anyone feeling old?
7 They had gone to almost fifteen classes and given their spiel, stood in front of the entire school at lunch and fielded questions like seasoned celebrities, and finished up with a return to the cafeteria, where they sat, bonded, and laughed. I had slipped out during the last period and brought them pizza, which they loved, and they all hugged and couldn't wait to get in there and do it tomorrow. You would have thought they had won a softball championship!
8 It was a telling moment. After school, they all took off, virtually best friends, with smiles and hope lighting up the afternoon. Almost all of them stayed together, dancing and high-fiving, and it was hard not to look on it all with smiles, but with a certain knowing wisdom as well.
9 Been there.
10 I returned to my office, turned the lights down, put on some Ella Fitzgerald, and pullled one of those shifting color things on my computer screen and finally relaxed. I smiled. It all seemed so familiar. I recalled all the excitement when I took over for the Class of '05 so many years ago, and I remembered being caught up in all that stuff. This time I just smiled a knowing and experienced smile.
11 They had no idea what had just occurred. I had.
12 I still had bigger things on my plate: a volleyball game to organize, a football game Friday night, teachers who wanted to kill me, teachers who wanted to do nothing more than to welcome and support me, a Back-to-School night next week, a SECOND volleyball game, and finally, a dance with a pirate theme next Friday night. The simplicity of the Class of 2010 just amused me in all it's silly innocence. I had moved beyond all that, and yet it still made me smile to see the fun and spirit in those kids.
13 I sat in the cool semi-darkness of my office, listening to jazz and resting all my molecules when I noticed something.
12 No ants.
13 I had spent the morning wiping the walls down, cleaning up the beer bottles and ashtrays, and cleaning everything in the office. And suddenly, no ants. I had used a little of everybody's solutions, but something clearly had worked.
14 I could now throw all those fluorescent green post-its filled with ant-extermination ideas away. I thought I'd have post-its with names of balloon companies, or places to get Homecoming Court paraphrenilia, but really, ant post-its. There must have been thirty of them.
15 Borax and syrup. Lemon detergent. Diatomaceous Earth algae skeletons. Boiling water poured over the nest. Moving one nest and dumping it on the other because "ants are very territorial, and they will readily hunt and kill invading colonies."
16 Vinegar. Cayenne pepper. Cayenne pepper IN boiling water. Cream of Tartar. Salt. Perfume. Instant grits.
17 And my favorite, a recipe:
1 part dry yeast, 2 parts molasses, 1 part sugar.
"They will be attracted to the sugar in the mixture and will eat it readily. Once consumed the yeast will produce gas in the ant, and because they can't expel gas, it will kill them."
18 Ants implode because they can't fart. Am I reading this correctly?
19 It's a living.
20 See ya again.
21 Peace.
~H~
1 Three weeks ago, I was lazily floating in my backyard pool. At the time, I never dreamed my entire life would change as radically as it has. It hasn't been bad, quite the contrary, it's been a complete new departure, and very exciting and invigorating.
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