May 15, 2006
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The Daily News
Straight gangsta.
1 Yesterday's YB website had this to say on its little traveling marquee: Sunday, May 14, 2006 Early release schedule today...totally gangsta.
2 So they're starting to give Sunday school to kids in hopes they might earn their halos.
3 On MOTHER'S Day yet. Gangsta.
4 JAY-zuss. JAY-Z!
5 I think it's pretty cold making kids have Sunday school on Mother's Day. At least it was early release.
6 So things again are winding down like a tired old clock. I have no idea whether today is a collaboration day or not. The marquee switched last night to Monday, May 15, 2006 Early release schedule...Huh? Straight gangsta.
7 I love how confused I get at this time of the year. Everything is always in disarray because of the weirdness of the time of year, the heat, and my own tendency to be gangsta. Straight up.
8 Moving on: We had a successful High Notes music festival which midway through I realized was NOT the Music in the Parks festival. If I would only read my own DN sometimes I think I would have known that.
9 Then we had the Pigeon Players' Saturday night show, the one in which The Philadelphia just tore it up. I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my face. Great job on the whole show, I swear. I enjoyed it.
10 I wore a tux to the show, met Nicole and Jonathan, and we enjoyed it together, plus I looked straight gangsta sitting there.
11 I then took off for the Senior Ball, where the kids looked stunning! I looked pretty too, I must say. This is where the story turns gangsta. So here goes. It ain't much, but here's my SENIOR BALL gangsta story:
12 No sooner had I gotten there than I had to run to a 7-11 for some allergy medicine. This was at the sixth street 7-11 downtown. You could hear this loud hip-hop music playing as I moved to the front door. I was chillin' in the TOONDRA booming some serious beats. G-UNIT, U KNO!!! I had shined my gold teeth for prom, 'cuz I wuz a straight up PIMP. I got out cracked my knuckles and flashed my bling. LOVE/HATE-Do-the-right-thingOH-GEE. Yee-uh.
13 I walked in there in my street tux with purple vest and BLING, and the guy behind the counter yelled, "PIMP!" I just paused staring at the collection of cold pills and aspirin. I looked over and he said, "YEE-UH! WHAT IT DO!" The world stopped.
14 I looked over, poker faced. The place fell silent.
15 Bitch, what it do.
16 I looked around like a King-Hell baddass, and set the bottle of children's Dimetap on the counter. I reached in the pocket of my PIMP jacket to get my ATM card. When I pulled my hand out, blood rushed up and down everyone there. I tossed my card on the counter like a poker chip. The place froze.
17 I stared that guy down. "Need my EYE-DEE?"
18 The guy shook his head. He looked pretty nervous. "IT'S OKAY MAN! I BELIEVE YOU!" I walked out to whispers. I started up the TOOOONDRA, cranked some G-Unit, and bounced.
19 I checked the rear view and five guys gathered, pointed, and covered their mouths with their hands.
20 Children's Dimetap. Straight-up gangsta.
21 I took off for prom, disappearing into the fearful night.
22 Straight up gangsta, foo.
23 I made it back to prom with a huge smile on my face.
24 Straight gangsta.
25 Payce. See ya again.
26 Out.
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