April 26, 2006
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The Daily News
THIS PICTURE IS HELLA GAY.
1 Man, I got home HALLA late last night.
2 HALLA.
3 I wonder what the heck that means?
4 Been around forever.
5 Nor-cal term. People from So-cal HELLA don’t get it.
6 And what about “This picture is HELLA gay!”? It has nothing to do with gay, of course. People just say things are HELLA gay because they don’t know how to say, “This thing is stupid and senseless.” That’s HELLA gay.
OR IS IT
?
?
7 Is it HELLA or HALLA? I hear HELLA most times, but I think snobs say HALLA.
8 I think there are snob pronunciations and spellings on things.
9 For example, which is snobbier, the word “either” pronounced “eeether” or “eye-ther”?
10 To me, “eye-ther” is HELLA snobbier.
11 Same goes for “neither”.
12 “Neye-ther” is HALLA for snobs.
13 You know what’s funny? Sometimes they just leave a sentence dangling with HELLA. To wit: “Pizza? We had HELLA…”
14 Now in THAT instance, you wouldn’t say “Pizza? We had HALLA…” At least in the Hellahallasaurus, you wouldn’t.
15 I wonder if HELLA and HALLA are in a thesaurus?
16 <DN Sidebar:I have a student in my sixth who thinks that the thesaurus is extinct.>
17 Now that kid is HALLA stupid.
18 Okay. Okay. Which spelling is snobbier, “theater” or “theatre”?
19 Clearly, “theatre” is ten times snobbier, and for the life of me, I have no idea why.
20 But yeah.
21 Guys who add “Jr.” or “II” to their names in programs: snobby. Like if the director is writing the program, there’s ALWAYS some guy Bernie Schmedling who would want his name in the program to read, “Bernard Francis Schmedling II” just to sound like a rich kid.
22 That’s HELLA gay.
23 HELLA. Good fookin’ Lord. It’s crystal clear we’re becoming a nation of idiots.
24 Have a great day. Stay natural. People will like you better.
25 HALLA better.
26 Peace.
~H~
