April 11, 2006
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The Daily News
1 So...The Pillsbury Doughboy walks into a bar...
2 I know, I know, I was equally as stunned.
3 But facts is facts.
4 This was sent to me by a good ol' mate, me slithery matey I affectionately refer to as "Goof". Me timbers was shivered when I read of the gnarly demise of Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy.
5 And if you don't believe it, read this:
POPPIN' FRESH DEAD
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, Captain Crunch and the California Raisins.
Crunch Crocker
The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man, and was considered a roll model for millions.
Jemima
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and two children, John and Jane Dough with a bun in the oven. Doughboy is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart, and his estranged brother who lives on the west coast, Sour Dough.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
6 Moving on, which we must all do: Congratulations to all the students who marched yesterday for a worthy cause. It always does my heart good to see kids taking to the streets in a constructive way. It's nice to see a generation deciding that there are things bigger than their own sphere of friends and company.
7 Moving on, which we must all do, 2: We had our first run-through, full dress rehearsal yesterday, and actually made it through all the songs. The kids looked good, the scene changes went smoothly, and everything was pretty okay except for one thing: they had all eaten chocolate before they sang, and EVERYBODY flat as a pie pan, including me.
8 Well, we have two more days. We open this Thursday evening to the delight of the entire sannozay community, and it's been quite a cake to bake. But our spirits are completely up, despite the demise of said doughboy <see above>.
9 Shameful.
10 Meanwhile we just get through each day as best we can.
11 The show has some great songs in it. It ran around an hour and fifteen minutes, so it should be a lot of fun! It feels almost ready for the public go, so I sure hope you could all come by and sing and share some memories.
12 I'm thinking of popping a moment of silence for the Doughboy, 'cuz nothin' says lovin' like something in the oven.
13 Anyway, yeah we open Thursday night at 8 p.m. if the STAR testing doesn't give us the spinnies.
14 I hope to see everyone there; it'll be a lot of fun. It's called My Favorite Things, and is a collection of songs that are the favorites of both me and of my mom!
15 Awwww...
16 Tickets are $4 general, and $3 w/ASB card.
17 Bring about a hundred friends. Come on out and enjoy our show. It's a lot of fun!
18 We have a lot of surprise songs and good times to be had.
19 Curtain at 8.
20 See you there!
21 Peace.
We love you man.
R.I.P.
~H~
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