The Daily News

THIS PICTURE IS HELLA GAY.

1  Man, I got home HALLA late last night.

2  HALLA.

3  I wonder what the heck that means?

4  Been around forever.

5  Nor-cal term. People from So-cal HELLA don't get it.

6  And what about "This picture is HELLA gay!"? It has nothing to do with gay, of course. People just say things are HELLA gay because they don't know how to say, "This thing is stupid and senseless." That's HELLA gay.

OR IS IT

?

?

7  Is it HELLA or HALLA?  I hear HELLA most times, but I think snobs say HALLA.

8  I think there are snob pronunciations and spellings on things.

9  For example, which is snobbier, the word "either" pronounced "eeether" or "eye-ther"?

10  To me, "eye-ther" is HELLA snobbier.

11  Same goes for "neither".

12  "Neye-ther" is HALLA for snobs.

13   You know what's funny? Sometimes they just leave a sentence dangling with HELLA. To wit: "Pizza? We had HELLA..."

14  Now in THAT instance, you wouldn't say "Pizza? We had HALLA..." At least in the Hellahallasaurus, you wouldn't.

15  I wonder if HELLA and HALLA are in a thesaurus?

16  <DN Sidebar:I have a student in my sixth who thinks that the thesaurus is extinct.> 

17  Now that kid is HALLA stupid.

18  Okay. Okay. Which spelling is snobbier, "theater" or "theatre"?

19  Clearly, "theatre" is ten times snobbier, and for the life of me, I have no idea why.

20  But yeah.

21  Guys who add "Jr." or "II" to their names in programs: snobby. Like if the director is writing the program, there's ALWAYS some guy Bernie Schmedling who would want his name in the program to read, "Bernard Francis Schmedling II" just to sound like a rich kid.

22  That's HELLA gay.

23  HELLA. Good fookin' Lord. It's crystal clear we're becoming a nation of idiots.

24  Have a great day. Stay natural. People will like you better.

25  HALLA better.

26  Peace.

~H~

The Daily News

1  Welcome back everybody! Sure feels good!

2  WELL!  I'd like congratulate the members of the Cast and Crew of My Favorite Things for kicking their jet engines on with a thundering performance last weekend!!!  You blew everyone out of the water, forcing many of us into accolades filled to the brim with mixed metaphors and holy praises!!! 

            

3  My own words can't touch the magic and power and the overall miracle that occurred those three wonderful nights. Perhaps two words can: Thank you. Thank you to the Cast, Crew, and to our rollicking audiences for joining us in a celebration of pure joy and miracles.

4  Just...Thank you.

5  Moving on:  It's a bit funny but I get so used to composing the DN each night and chucking it onto your front porch each morning that when I give myself  <and you!>  time off, I find myself writing like a madman!

6  For example, when I would get to the point of e-mailing people this past week, I found myself composing these long heroic pieces and updates and all, and sending them off. Part of the reason for that was that my insomnia tends to kick in strongly when there's no school, and I find myself unable to sleep, subsequently writing illuminating things well into the good night.

7  Ah, it was fun and relaxing having not TOO much to do. They'd probably rather read my crap than study anyway. I would have. Any excuse to put down the books. Ah, the college life...Oreos and e-mails at 3 a.m.

8  Anyway, I guess we're back to normal. How many of YOU finally got to picking up those books that were lurking over you like smiling gargoyles all week? 

9  Ah, it's great to be back! I can't wait to see my sixth! Yeah dude, I looked it up and it turns out that Shakespeare really IS dead. Your gut instinct was right on the money. How'd ya know?

10  Moving on, part II: Iquanas. Cafecito. Twice-Read Books. Stratta. What do these venerable places have in common? They were all soulful businesses downtown that have all disappeared since July. Very sad times. And in some ways tied together by similar landlords and money interests. I can't go into all of that right here, but if you're interested in reading about it, go to the link below and weep.

http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/10.12.05/orozcos-0541.html

11  It's a touchin' good story...

12  It's a touchin' sad story, but it is really the story of San Jose's historical legacy, which sadly is one of places being built, entire communities bonding, and then money interests and political forces literally knocking things down with a wrecking ball.

13  I recently purchased a book called San Jose's Historic Downtown, thinking I could visit all the famous spots, but sadly, the story seems to be that very thing, over and over.

14  During the summer I'll work a bit on getting some of that stuff up on my Xanga, which has settled into the long weeds and rust that have defined this entire year.

15  At some point I hope to revive that as well. I really get sad watching things like that just disappear out of our lives. Iquanas was just a lovely place, and it's adjoining partner, Cafecito, was a place where my daugher Caitlin and her great friend Monica performed on open mic nights.

16  So that article, submitted to the Myspace.com bulletin by my daughter Nicole's friend Jonathan, really stopped me and made me realize how quickly some of our most cherished people and things could simply leave us, often in a heartbeat...

17  I guess in many ways the story of the Drama Workshop this year was a sort of triumph over all that sort of thing happening.

18 Maybe that's why I look up at the sky on this peaceful Monday back and give a wink.

19  All good gifts around us, after all, are sent from Heaven above, or so they say.

20  Thank you.  And as predicted, Godspell once again brought it all to light.

21  Peace.

thank you cast, crew and audience.

we're back.

<thundering applause.>

thank you.

~h~

The Daily News

OPENING NIGHT!!!

1  As you can see, all of San Jose came out in droves to see our show last night!

2  All right, all right, my cover is blown!

3  But yesterday as I was hustling to get to the show a million cars suddenly appeared as though they were matted into my life like a movie cut. I was just driving along when the traffic was jus there. I took the above picture almost as it was happening.

4  I knew I would be late for pre-set, which I am a stickler about people being prompt on show nights, but what can you do?

5  Turns out some guys robbed the Wells Fargo out on Meridian, and travled up 680 to just about my turnoff, and then started throwing the money out on the freeway!

6  All traffic north of Berryessa Road came to this strange standstill, and traffic swamped over the neighborhoods everywhere. It was weird.

7  I got to the school, and the TRIO was there!!!

Haha!!! Good times, good times! TREEE-OH!!!

8  Jose officially owns the TRIO now and came to see the opening!

9  We got there and someone had misplaced the microphone receivers, and a whole bunch of things went wrong. We found the stuff, and had everything up and going right around 7:40!

10  I was a wreck, because we also got an audience, so we just launched into the opening numbers.

11  These guys took it to the streets, literally,  and  despite a few technical glitches, the show came off wonderfully! Several people stood!!!  'Twas GREAT fun!

12  Before the kids even exited you could see the excitement in their faces. Because we had so many newer kids who had seldom if ever been in a show, they were just dazzled, and jumped out of their skins with excitement!

13  They jumped, hugged, sang, danced, and just howled for the rest of the night.

14  Afterwards, we gathered around Sparky, lit his head on fire, and sang Seasons of Love. He didn't seem to mind.

15  The night was already lit up by the cast!

Those orbs are back! I think they're spirits, I really do!

16  The kids just danced, got rowdy, sang, and clearly felt that this was indeed, a special show. I don't quite know how to describe the mood last night, but out of our heads seems to make some sort of sense.

17  I wish now that we had one more weekend!

20  Anyway, the show runs thru Saturday night, so get out and see it!  Clearly these guys felt swell, they felt great!

21  And you know? So did I!

22  This was one of the most triumphant Opening Nights EVER.

23  The Great Big Mean Memory Machine strikes again!

24  Dave made the mistake of asking if we were taping the show.

25  Nope.

26  But we're taping you, man!

27   OHHHHHYEAHHHHH!

28   I got a report that my sub lost complete control of my sixth period class, and that some wolverine peed on my rug. What a sweet girl! I'd like to thank her, and I'm considering doing a special DN interview with her and giving her name to everyone on the internet.

29  Ah, well! Why let something THAT idiotic ruin a great night?  We eventually all got out and safely home. And I'm guessing that girl got back to her smelly lair. What an idiot.

29  So yeah, I can't WAIT for tonight!!!

30  Break-a-leg kids!

31  Peace!

Sarah rocked on followspot. She's tired here.

Let's go, on with the Show!!!

~H~

The Daily News

The Yerba Buena Drama Workshop

proudly presents

My

            Favorite

                   Things

a musical revue…

april 13, 14, 15                                                   y.b theatre                                    8 p.m.

          $4 w/o asb/$3 w asb

1  Wow.

2  Opening night.

3  There is excitement everywhere. This is the first musical we've done since Songs We've Heard, and it is one more miracle in a year of seeming miracles!

4  This is the show we were supposed to do last year! That always haunts me just a bit, to think that had we only zigged when we shoulda zagged, this one would have been out there last spring.

5  It's almost incomprehensible.

6  What an amazing achievement! The kids stepped up at last night's dress rehearsal. Notes that couldn't be hit two days ago suddenly sang like the sound of meadowlarks, and we all just rocked!

7  Of course, we always maintain that little bit of nervousness, but everyone at this point is really excited to finally get this show up.

8  So the flag will fly proudly over the Theatre this day, and the next, and the next! It is truly a triumphant symbol of a bit of a triumphant conquest over a year that goes down as among the most difficult I have ever faced, and I am proud to say that collectively, we all got above it and faced it down, and won!

9  There wasn't a Drama Workshop when the year began, let alone any HOPE for a musical in the Spring.

10  But miracle after miracle seemed to happen. I can't really explain it, but there were coincidences upon coincidences happening anytime I got way down, rays of sunlight bursting through clouds during the darkest times, kites flying on sunny days when there should have been darkness, and brilliant rainbows shining down at all the right moments.

11  Yesterday Misty took every ounce of her courage and spirit, and finally nailed the song Tomorrow, from Annie, and we all just applauded her courage. She had been having extreme moments of frustration and tears about it, kept it inside, and yesterday just burst out with the song, and sung it with more heart than anyone could ever have imagined.

12  So yeah.

13  There have been these sorts of things all year, and now it's Opening Night, and we want people. We want everyone to share in our joy and conquest.

14  We want people to see that every now and again, you can get the best of the world, even when it's raining and raining and raining.

15  So to the Cast, congratulations! You've shown everyone that miracles can happen!

16  To all the rest, come on out and support these guys. We STILL don't know if we can deliver the goods for these three nights, but they already have shown themselves a great deal.

17  And that of itself is already a memory I'll never forget.

18  So let's go.

19  On with the show!

20  Thanks Cast, break-a-leg.

21  And thank you Misty, for showing all of us that miracles can happen!

22  Peace.

~H~

The Daily News

1  So we FINALLY had an ass-kicking rehearsal yesterday! I cranked up one song, almost to a decible level that would offend Metallica, and the kids jumped all over it.

2  The first six or seven songs just rolled along, rocked, reeled, and entertained beyond words! I couldn't believe it was the same crew!

3  Just the day before yesterday I was looking out over the rehearsal wondering what we had spent three months working on.

4  Yesterday I found out.

5  Of course, every silver lining...I had accidentally put the updated and upgraded show CD in a DVD box that was somewhere in the TOOONDRA. So right in the middle of the rehearsal, all the wrong songs kept playing, and all you could hear in terms of microphones was my voice saying things like "F*CK! B*TCH!!! and all the rest. Well, maybe I was just THINKING those words, because I have honestly been trying to get nearer to God, my children.

6  So we open tomorrow night at 8 p.m. and not a moment too soon! I really do think these guys did a swell job yesterday. The show just boogied along, and was really pretty fun.

7  Our show is tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday nights at 8 p.m. It's called My Favorite Things, of all things, and it was originally a show that was really going to be songs hand-picked by my mom. We didn't have the music for all of that, but we got a LOT of her favorite songs in there, so it's all becoming really special.

8  Hope you can make it.

9  Tell people, and come on out, willya? These guys are all pretty new to this, and they are VERY excited! It adds a certain <dare I say it?>  cuteness to the evening.

10  It's been really a blast listening to young people singing songs that my mother loved, and making them all fresh and alive! Well, there are a few that I love too, not the least of which are songs from Godspell and Rent. But we'll be visiting a number of shows, including Guys and Dolls, Annie Get Your Gun, Sweet Charity, Gypsy, The Sound of Music, Grease, How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, and Phantom of the Opera, to name but a few.

11  This show was supposed to have gone on last year, so it's nice to see it finally making it to the stage. We still have miles to go before we sleep, but right now, I'm feeling a lot more relaxed with it, and I think the kids are starting to get a sense of how it goes.

12  So today's DN is a plug for a show that gets more awesome by the minute, and more exciting with each added touch.

13  And you just never know, as with any show.

14  You just never know.

15  Send us your love for a great dress rehearsal tonight. It's pretty exciting for all of us, and we're nervous, but really, just excited and ready.

16  Somehow, manage to get there. Whatever you WERE doing, cancel it and come out and watch a whole bunch of new actors and actresses bring in the quality that we can now enjoy, and watch still more memories come out of this Theatre that has been a virtual memory factory.

17  Someday we'll find it.

18  I can't wait!

19  Seasons of Love.

20  Peace!

~h~

The Daily News

1  So...The Pillsbury Doughboy walks into a bar...

2  I know, I know, I was equally as stunned.

3  But facts is facts.

4  This was sent to me by a good ol' mate, me slithery matey I affectionately refer to as "Goof". Me timbers was shivered when I read of the gnarly demise of Poppin' Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy.

5  And if you don't believe it, read this:

                  POPPIN' FRESH DEAD

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, Captain Crunch and the California Raisins.

 Crunch        Crocker

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man, and was considered a roll model for millions.

Jemima

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and two children, John and Jane Dough with a bun in the oven. Doughboy is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart, and his estranged brother who lives on the west coast, Sour Dough.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

6  Moving on, which we must all do: Congratulations to all the students who marched yesterday for a worthy cause. It always  does my heart good to see kids taking to the streets in a constructive way. It's nice to see a generation deciding that there are things bigger than their own sphere of friends and company.

7  Moving on, which we must all do, 2: We had our first run-through, full dress rehearsal yesterday, and actually made it through all the songs. The kids looked good, the scene changes went smoothly, and everything was pretty okay except for one thing: they had all eaten chocolate before they sang, and EVERYBODY flat as a pie pan, including me.

8  Well, we have two more days. We open this Thursday evening to the delight of the entire sannozay community, and it's been quite a cake to bake. But our spirits are completely up, despite the demise of said doughboy <see above>.

9  Shameful.

10  Meanwhile we just get through each day as best we can.

11  The show has some great songs in it. It ran around an hour and fifteen minutes, so it should be a lot of fun! It feels almost ready for the public go, so I sure hope you could all come by and sing and share some memories.

12  I'm thinking of popping a moment of silence for the Doughboy, 'cuz nothin' says lovin' like something in the oven.

13  Anyway, yeah we open Thursday night at 8 p.m. if the STAR testing doesn't give us the spinnies.

14  I hope to see everyone there; it'll be  a lot of fun. It's called My Favorite Things, and is a collection of songs that are the favorites of both me and of my mom!

15  Awwww...

16  Tickets are $4 general, and $3 w/ASB card.

17  Bring about a hundred friends. Come on out and enjoy our show. It's a lot of fun!

18  We have a lot of surprise songs and good times to be had.

19  Curtain at 8.

20  See you there!

21  Peace.

We love you man.

R.I.P.

~H~