March 29, 2006
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The Daily News
1 So news to me, but I just read that California high schools evidently have until July 2007 to replace soda with water, fruit juices, and sports drinks.
2 Well, one high school, Shasta High School <the irony is dripping!> has a group of students who are pretty upset about it, and who want a statewide ballot to put soda back in the machines. Leading the charge is a student by the name of Rocky Slaughter, who states, "We're allowed to drive cars. We're allowed to shoot guns..so why can't we make decisions about nutrition?"
3 Uh...they're allowed to shoot guns? I guess I can't argue with THAT logic, Rockman. Only in Shasta. It hasta be Shasta.
4 Other schools joining forces with Shasta are RC High of Richmond, Dr. Pepper Middle School, in Rocklin, who's principal, Mr. Pibb, has sent notice to every school in America, and Lemon Slice Evangelical High School and Dentistry Training Center, in Long Beach.
5 Schools in more isolated areas, such as President's Choice High of Fullerton, and Sunny Select Pre-school in beautiful Pinole, California, have also jumped into the mix.
6 Okay, so the first TWO items are actually accurate, and the rest of this was just me being a wise guy. But Shasta High School in Redding, California, actually has made this a cause celebre, and ol' Rocky Slaughter is simply bubbling over with enthusiasm for his pro-junk initiative.
7 Senator Martha Escutia, D-Whittier, and author of the original ban, had this to say: "I don't think any school should be in the business of selling junk to students."
8 With that amazing mentality, I should think we will be seeing half the history books removed from the classrooms as well.
9 Okay, that DID make sense, so you just need to open that other eye and join the morning.
10 Moving on: Headline in yesterday's Merc:
Gas prices rising out of sight again
11 I thought those price increases were pretty much on display and in plain sight for all to read. And weep.
12 They oughta ban that too.
13 They oughta ban everything.
14 I thought for a while that I was just imagining all the rain, and that all the talk of umbrellas this year was just over-exaggeration. Turns out we are on track to break the record for the rainiest March on record. So far, it has rained 18 days, and the record is 20.
15 I say that kid puts together a No-Rain initiative.
16 Well, enough of this nonsense. It's pretty late as I compose this, and I'm about ready to pop a cola and hit the hay.
17 I just went to my fridge to grab a cold one, and I SWEAR to you, I had two Shasta colas chilling in there.
18 Cahoots, I tellya. Cahoots. And I'm NOT a sellout. I just LOVE Coca-Cola. No shameless kickbacks. I swear to you.
19 Gottago. Raise a glass to rainy days.
20 Peace.
~H~
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