March 7, 2006
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The Daily News
1 Okay, so this is a DN where I'm flying by the seat of my pants!
2 These are often the most fun, because what happens is that life climbs all over me like the proverbial cheap coat, so I get home late, fall on the couch, conk out completely, and then awaken at like 1:30 a.m. and no DN. I'm suddenly a cartoon. Chaplinesque.
3 I go into a panic mode. I routinely throw my loud cat, Mr. T, off the bathroom sink, which he has turned into his penthouse, and he sort of bounces on the floor with a loud, fat "MRAH!", cracks the tiles, and moves off.
4 I splash water on my face, look in the mirror at all the horrors of my own visage, and move back out to the computer. Jay Leno is on for the SECOND time tonight. Yeesh.
5 I hang my hat on my cane, interlock my fingers in a final stretch, roll up my sleeves, and dive in. I check my e-mails, and as usual in this sort of situation, I have a gajillion.
6 Some nights I have none, and I look out the window like a lonely guy in an old silent movie, but tonight, of course, I have tons to do.
7 The challenges: a great friend is going through a really rough time, another needs two monologues, a third wants to make a film, several have sent in the results of the Great Lent Debate <the best answer, by the way, is from my wife Helene's good friend Lois, who spent twelve years in parochial school. So to all of y'all, take Sundays off during Lent! Hooray! Sing hallelujah, come on get happy!>, and a fourth wants to come up with a plan on how to make the first one smile and love life once more...
8 You get the idea.
9 All in a day's work.
10 I have grades due tomorrow, and absolutely no lesson plan for the Shakespeare lesson today.
11 AND ATFNL needs a skit for the eighth-grade visitation, which happens in exactly six hours.
12 So I need to get crackin' here.
13 So first, to the friend: reach back into your soul and pull out a smile. Look at the bright side; you have found your ability to laugh and shine once more. Nothing is more valuable than that, and it's the world's gain.
14 To the second: go to the library and get a book called The Perfect Monologue. Best book on acting ever written. Works in a pinch.
15 To the third, any film will be better if it is in black and white, is silent, and if it involves a horse.
16 To the Lent fans, thanks for all the cards and letters, but I'm listening to Lois, and hoping we BOTH don't get hurled into Hell, along with her entire parochial school!
17 And to the last, let's just be there for her. I can think of no better gift.
18 Whew.
19 So I did it.
20 I was a bit worried there, but I got this DN off in around an hour.
21 You can't hurt steel.
22 Anyone else?
23 Thanks Lois. I'll sleep better. I'll sleep better.
24 Peace, y'all.
~H~
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