The Daily News The Raven, Gustav Dore   How it pours, pours, pours, In a never-ending sheet! How it drives beneath the doors! How it soaks the passer's feet! How it rattles on the shutter! How it rumples on the lawn! How 'twill sigh, and moan, and mutter, From darkness until dawn.                          --RossiterJohnson, Rhyme of the Rain 1  Besides his own mother, I'm guessing I'm the only guy ever to have quoted Rossiter Johnson. You expected Poe, didn't you? 2  Yesterday. Yeesh. It poured. And poured. Ask Rossiter Johnson; he'll tellya. 3  Here's what San Jose looked like after rehearsal, when it cleared for a brief stint:                                                                        pretty darned poetic, don't you think? 4  I got home and collapsed again. I think my body is trying to break its all-time record for snoozing. Battling through this year on a rainy Monday is no small task, and I fell to the temptation to drift off into a deep sleep. Mondays can do that, especially when you know you have to go back in and face Tuesday. 5  Especially with the rain, which I've mentioned already. That's twice now with especially, so you'd best sit up and take note. 6  In fact, I wanted to go to my chamber and play a piano piece to rain, to create music that mimics perfectly the poetry and grace of a dark, rainy afternoon, and of all the pain within my being, screaming to get out! 7  So I dressed in all black, lit a candle, listened to the lilting, poetic rhythms and plipping beauty of the raindrops, and moved off to my chamber, with the full intention of putting this down in words, and in song! 8  The rain was screaming all my pain; my pain was imprisoned; thoughts haunted my entire being. "I must needs away to my chamber in order that I may compose my masterpiece!" I shouted, seemingly to nobody! 9  Like a moaning wraith, I drifted through the rooms of my abode, a melancholy presence with indeed, a story to tell, and with other restless souls gently to touch, and to reach! 10  I finally reached my chamber door, when it dawned on me that I have no chamber door!  It dawned on me that I have no chamber period! I have no PIANO! Calamities! 11  I noticed this when I reached my chamber door, only to realize I had no chamber door! I just said that! 12  I looked about, only to see that my house was without seven gables, there wasn't a raven in sight, and, of a sudden, I felt compelled no longer to end sentences with exclamation points! 13  So I made a fat sandwich instead, and crashed out on my couch, and turned on the T.V., kicked off my old shoes, and wiggled my toes so they jumped alive like sea otters in warm socks. 14  I thought of Edgar Allan Poe, and how amazingly grief-stricken he was, and had to ask myself, "Why, man, why?" 15  The answer came to me in a dream. Poe materialized like his own mythical raven. I looked up, and goofed on his forehead.  16  Poe's forehead was 11 inches across. That explains his brooding angst, as well as the bust of Caesar. I mean, check this:                                                                                               I sell hats. He's a size eight.                                                                             Hands down.                                                                    No wonder he was so sad.                                                                    Poor fellow was Melon-choly.                                                                            m'bad.                                                         17  That mug is at LEAST 11 inches acrosst by my measure. 18  Haha! Acrosst. I have a neighbor that says stuff like that. Acrosst. The guy kills me! 19  Anyway,  I decided then and there just to finish my fat sandwich and count my blessings. 20  Every now and again, I do that. 21  Don't trip. 22  It's raining. It's Tuesday. Deal with it. 23  Haha! 24  And...uh...Rossiter? Don't quit your day job, dude. 25   Nevermore, man. I gotta love it. 26   It's raining. It's Tuesday. Make someone laugh today. 26   Peace.   "He lived rich, but he died Poe." peace. ~h~

 

The Daily News

1  So...Don Knotts walks into a bar...

2  Ah, sad one.

3  So...Darren McGavin walks into a bar...

4  The father in A Christmas Story? Or...the Night Stalker.

5   So it goes, so it goes.

6  Well, we're baackkk!!!! I miss the DN! It's a bit funny, but I often get a kick out of the DN, because I sort of forget about it, and then think, "Oh, yeah!" I then quickly check over the obits. But a small break like this makes me sort of miss it. I guess that's a good thing.

7  And then I sit and write it. Well, I don't really write it at all, I sort of open a package and pop it in the oven. Sometimes it comes out great. Other times it just comes out. Metaphorically speaking.

8  Well, I spent most of the week working on the show, and on the VSA Fashion Show, which was quite successful! We had a lot of fun, but I was lured into a false sense of security that the year was almost over.

9  I slept for around 4,000 hours. People tell me it's because I suffer from depression. I think it's because I suffer from, well, being sleepy. Often, I dream of Oreos. I just do.

10  Moving On:  So Drew and Cheryl win. Here they are, for all you Dancing With the Stars fans:

The Winnnuhzzz!!!

11  Naturally, I immediately sensed a conspiracy, and lo! The conspiracy theories are already pouring in all across the continent! There are claims that Jerry won! For those of you who want to join in, here's a site:

http://www.realitytvmagazine.com/blog/2006/02/dancing_with_th_11.html

12  Haha!!!

13  Actually, I didn't get into it as much as I should have. But reality TV is here to stay, I imagine. NOT very good news for hopeful actors and actresses, I'll tell you that much. What a trend.

14  Still...

15  Ah, come on! I could devote an entire DN to reality shows, I swear! I keep discovering new ones, or old ones that I just never watch.

16  Goofy stuff. I swear. Anyway...

17  So much went on last week, but i really didn't pay too much attention. I know Bode Miller just went to the Olympics so he could party and drink beer. Is that his name? Miller? Figures.

18  And our teams seem to be skiing into mountains and falling down dancing. It's like watching the Southpark kids in the Olympics. Good thing it's over.

19  Who killed Bode?

20  Other than that, just some thundering Rock 'n' Roll. OH! And I'm on a NEW diet.

21  It's called the Must-Have-OREOS diet. It begins innocently enough. You exercise, eat lots of fruits, vegetables, and small portions of white meat or fish.

22  Then you eat one OREO, and chase it with a cold glass of non-fat milk.

23  Then a voice inside you says, "Must have OREOS!!!!" So you decide to get RID of all those extra calories of the fruits, vegetables, and small poritons of white meat or fish.

24  And then you REPLACE all that with a bag of OREOS and a quart of cold milk.

25  It doesn't work in the least, but it sure cures depression due to too much sleep.

26  I better leave. Have a loooovely day!

27  Peace.

 

~H~

 

 

 

The Daily News 1  Haha! Money, money, money! Happy President's Day! Uh..when IS President's Day? 2  The trouble with teaching is, we don't get nearly enough holidays. Well, it's time for Winter Break already! 3  Yeesh. 4  Didn't we JUST come out of Christmas? Well, I'm not complaining. We get lots and LOTS of time off, that's for certain. As my good friend and confidant Kenny the P so eloquently puts it,"Beats workin'!"  Oh, I imagine, I imagine. 5  Gives us extra time to spend all that dough we make. 6  I apologize that I haven't goofed on things in the news, things such as guys writing fake books about re-hab, or about Cheney shooting his friends, or even the Stanford tree getting fired for working the Cal game with a heat on. There's lots of things that got past me this year, but I promise you, I'm still smart as a whip. So I'll try to stay right on those stories, because it can really be a pretty funny world out there, and worth a few laughs! 7  President's Day.Well! Isn't the apostrophe supposed to be AFTER the "s"? Well, I looked it up on whitehouse.gov, and evidently, it's "t" apostrophe, making it belong to each individual. Okay... 8 President's Day. I wonder when it became THAT. Like, I imagine Washington used to have his own birthday and stuff, and then all of a sudden some lanky guy on a fiver comes in, and then we had TWO birthdays to celebrate, so they combined it into President's Day. 9  I'm Washington, I'm a little pissed. After having survived the Great Cherry Tree Scandal, I have a birthday; I move to that great White House in the sky , and the nation rewards me with a holiday on my birthday. And they put my picture on money! 10  I'm guessing that when Lincoln came on board, and had HIS birthday, old White Wig-Wam moved gracefully over, and shared the two separate birthdays. "Hey," he probably figured, "the more the merrier!" 11  But at one point, they, <whoever "they" is!>  decided to combine BOTH birthdays, and that's ALWAYS not fair! 12  I'll bet that when they did THAT, Washington got pissed. That might explain the apostrophe. 13  But I'm guessing that any man who goes about looking like Barbara Bush probably went through life a little pissed anyway. It may have been the rouge. 14  And then he's only a dollar and a quarter, and Honest Abe, who never chopped down anything, became the cover boy for a five spot. 15  So it became "President's Day". Now isn't your birthday supposed to be sort of exclusively YOUR birthday? I mean, when you're a kid you get the party hats, the presents, the paper blowers... 16  Yeah, Washington was probably pissed, if I know people, and I think I do. 17  Lincoln might have been a little upset, but he was second anyway, and he wore a fine stove-top hat, not some hot wig. 18  Either way, we in education, the profession that thrives on holidays, saw the opportunity to stretch it into a fine week called Winter Break, even though we JUST had Christmas Break. Way to work it. 19  So, the combining of those two money blokes' birthdays into one solid week gives the DN a much-needed rest. 20  Hopefully some of you can catch up on these venerable musings and ramblings. 21  Well, if you're in town, you might pop over to the Northside Theatre Company tonight or Saturday, or next Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights to see our own Angie Higgins in Noel Coward's wonderful play, Private Lives. Northside Theatre Company is located right down McLaughlin, headed south, and you turn left on William St. Go to the William St. Park, and it's the little recreation center there. Curtain at 8. There are also Sunday matinees at 3. Easy to do, and always great shows. 22  Meanwhile, I'm outta here for a while. The VSA fashion show goes up Friday night, I think at 6, but you might need to ask someone. 23  And that's it for this first stretch of '06. 24  See you in a week!!! 25  Peace, y'all! Who knew? Haha!! Peace! ~H~

 

 

The Daily News

1  Well, we're winding down here. I'm just putting this all together and getting ready for our week off next week.

2  It's around 1:30 in the morning right now; I just got off the phone with a friend, and I guess I'm realizing how much everything has changed in the past year.

3  I just looked back, however briefly, and nearly turned into a pillar of salt, or some such nonsense.

4  Don't look back.

5  It's even in the Bible, which is a Good Book.

6  Lot's wife. Who knows? I think the last time I read the Bible, I got ink on my fingers.

7  But I just can't bear looking back any longer. I went through some of the saddest moments ever in the past  year.

8  And from the moment this year began, it seemed it rained. I guess that's sort of metaphorical, because the rain began inside of me, and it's been a downpour ever since.

9  Oh, outside, it hasn't been quite as pronounced.

10  But inside of my soul, it's been a downpour, with bits of sunshine coming through the clouds, but often, disappearing, leaving me with more pounding rainfall.

11  Umbrellas you misplace because they simply aren't part of the daily routine.

12  It's been said, and it needs attention, I imagine.

13  So I looked back last night, however briefly.

14  I felt a tad misplaced.

15  And then the rain began once again. It just doesn't seem to want to let up.

16  I wrote this late at night.

17  Gimme shelter.

18  Umbrellas.

19  Yeesh.

20  Peace.

 

~h~

 

 

 

The Daily News

1 You gotta have heart.

2  That was the order of the day yesterday.

3  The always difficult Valentine's Day had come to a close, and most of us were able to duck down and escape it's fierce hand and maintain a goodly amount of dignity.

4  I even wore a pink shirt, tie, black jacket, and fine Sisyphus watch given to me by Evelyn Huynh at Christmastide. I was quite the dandy, and I sported a shiny Rolling Stones pin that sparkled with the rest of my scintitllating ensemble.

5  That being said...

6  My room still had balloons, but nothing like Wolcott's!

7  Some folks sneaked into her room and it looked like someone was doing LOVE for Spirit Week, and did it in her room!

8  There were heart curtains, three dozen long-stem roses, balloon arcs, balloons everywhere, and a very smiling teacher at the helm. I never was able to get over there for a picture, because things just got in the way, but lemme tell ya, THERE was a room!

9  It was all about having heart!!!!

10  I loved it!

11  I walked in and gave her a coupla healthy oranges, and looking quite like a James Bond dandy, delivered the goods with aplomb and urbane slick.

12  I then danced out of the room gracefully, did a triple lux, and disappeared in dashing fashion.

13  She smiled, and it was just dandy.

14  After school, there were hearts floating all about my own room, complete with candy, and red roses, and I SWEAR to you we just happened work the great anthem, We Gotta Have Heart, from Damn Yankees.

15  It's a little bit funny.

16  We melted into it, a small group, to be sure, because of all the other activities that have taken many of the original members of the musical away, but our group just got stronger, and more powerful, and we sang that song with just the right amount of  spirit and desire it needed.

17  We had heart, and it filled the room with hope and love.

18  So once again, this spirited group pulled off a minor miracle, just one of many.

19  The reason...

20  We got heart.

21  Have a lovely day.

22  Peace.

 

~h~

 

 

The Daily News

1  Happy Valentine's Day.

2  That just borders on an oxymoron.

3  Well, we've been through all that.

4  Here's the only Valentine I have gotten so far, but if you know my year, it's pretty sweeet. You see, Friday, my 6th period freshmen were SO rude that I walked out of the class to cool down, or there would likely have been freshmen flying through windows, doors, walls, and then I might follow it by hurling a few frying pans into the night.

5  So I disappeared for a stint.

6  Well, I didn't realize it, but there was trouble outside the Theatre that day, and cops and ruckus suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere. I was just chillin' in the Theatre, messing with the lights while I cooled my jets. I think someone tagged the vending machine, which brought out most of the entire San Jose Police force. Thank goodness.

7  When I emerged later on, and one of my students, almost teary eyed, said, "Omigod, you're okay!"

8  Huh? Well, yeah, 'cuz I just "chillaxed" in the Theatre, always a sweet thing.

9  Turns out she told me some kids thought they had gotten so on my nerves that I had had a heart attack! Rumors upon rumors abounded, and the next thing you know, in the embellished version,I was carted out. Word came to me that one girl was so upset that she cried out, "We KILLED Mr. H!"

10  Omigod!

11  Haha! Actually, I thought it was sweet, and almost felt guilty for not having gone over. I was actually quite alive and peaceful in the Theatre.

12  So yesterday I was handed this Valentine. This is almost exactly the way it came in, hand-written in pencil, and on lined paper. To wit:

     2/10/06

                 Mr. Harrington

                  Dear Mr. Harrington were sorry for what we
Did in your classon Friday. After you left we thought something Bad happen to you cause all of a sudden we saw Mr. C and Dr. C. and the cops go to the school theature and thought you killed your self. were really sorry for what we did. we didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. We Just wanted to have fun. Please Don't be to mad at us for what we did. we promise we'll try to be better in your class. And not get you upset as much.

                                          Sincerly, all of your
                                                Little Devils

13  They added names like white chocolate, *Lil foot*,
EYEBROWS, SHAIKY, all underlined.

14  Just amazing.

15  I love that they thought I would have killed myself because of their immaturity! Ah...no? I'm not really sure how I'd have gone to those depths, but I assured them yesterday that rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated!

16  But I guess in their own way, they were sincere. When I showed up yesterday, they told me they were all so worried that some cried, and that they went all over campus looking for me.

17  The best thing was that they were so sincere in class, even as they made yet more noise in telling me. In many ways, it really made me smile to see that they cared so much.

18  I told them thank you so much, and that it meant the world to me that they cared so much.

19  So to my sixth, Godspeed man. I LOVE you guys.

20  To the rest of you, Happy St. Valentine's Day!!!

21  Pretty sweet story, really.

22  Have a lovely, beautiful, terrifically awesome day!

23  Peace and chocolate.

 

 

~H~

 

The Daily News

1  So last night I took off to go to Joe's with my daughter, Nicole. We were just off on one of those nights that you just wanna talk about stuff that's real, and to receive a few laughs from one another.

2  Once there, the conversation quite naturally fell to dieting, and of health, because that just seems to be THE talk of the town during February, but I went over that with a fine-toothed comb yesterday.

3  We then climbed quite comfortably into a loaf of crusty french bread dipped in olive oil with a hint of balsamic and a shake of parmesan.

4  As always, all the familiar staff were there to greet us with smiles and quips. Hassan was our waiter; he's the greatest waiter in the history of dining, and was just as awesome as ever.

5  We figured something out. Joe's doesn't age. I mean, the same guys have been working there for years, and they don't age.

6  Nicoley just commented on how comfortably familiar Joe's was. I agreed, and we just laughed about TV shows, goofy things, and many of the customers. In short, classic Joe's.

7  Later, as we carefully split some chicken and vegetables <diet time, even at Joe's!>, Hassan dropped a cheesecake the size of Philadelphia right in the middle of the table, with two huge Joe's forks!

8  We both hesitated, but I finally told Nicole, "Look, Nikki. Suppose it was your last night on Earth, and you were about to breathe your last breath. I would guess one thing you would want before you left this planet would be either a piece of Joe's crusty french bread, or better still, one last forkful of a Joe's cheescake!

9  "You would be lying there, as the darkness began taking your long life away, and you would begin considering the familiar, but as it would get closer to that GREAT moment, the cheesecake you see before you would begin to overtake all senses.

10  "You would think, 'I don't want to die without having one last cheescake from Joe's!' And then your lights would go out.

11 "The darkness would then surround you; you would become disoriented, time would be dreamlike, but you would suddenly find yourself in a dark tunnel, with a glowing light at the end of it. All your being would be moving you to that light.

12  "Your astral self would then be drawn to to all that is, and you soon would feel yourself moved swiftly to the other side. You would head to the light.

13  "After feeling more love than you'd ever experienced in all your life, you would emerge from the tunnel only to find yourself instantly sitting at this very same table. The first thing you would see would be a cheesecake, and two great forks. You'd look up, to see the smiling face of Hassan, who would say, 'It's about time! Dig in!'

14  "And we'd smile, laugh at the familiar, and appreciate all that is. And in this instance, all that is would be that piece of cheesecake!

15  "Mangia."

16  Have a great weekend.

17  Enjoy the familiar.

18  Peace.

 

~H~

 

 

The Daily News 1  Diets, diets, diets! 2  EVERYBODY'S depressed about weight! 3  'Cept me! 4  Bring it on, baby! 5  I saw the headline in yesterday's Merc News: Study: low-fat diet no help! Yeah, baby!!! 6  I immediately broke the bank at Wienerschnitzel, eating both wieners AND schnitzel in massive quantities!!! 7  I don't even know what a schnitzel is, even though I sing about it in My Favorite Things. 8  Actually, I wasn't REALLY sure of the correct spelling of "wiener". I was certain the "i" before "e" thing worked, or it would be pronounced "wayner" but then, late at night after working all day in a place where incorrectness is the order of the day, you're darned liable to go cross-eyed into any venue. 9  So yeah, the rule works, and the second I SAW the correct spelling, I looked off to the right and a wisp of thought puffed out, "dumbass..." 10  Pardonne moi! 11  Anywho, I decided that after much pressure, I am going to have to return to the gym and work out. Only with one new rule: I can evidently eat truckloads of lard and cheese and pork products, and maintain my dandy frame. 12  Schnitzel. 13  It's actually a fancy name for "veal cutlets". 14  <Charming the room with his best Julie Andrews>...doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodle...!!!! 15  Sounds like a CIA code. 16  It is. <James Bond music plays, cool, in the background> 17  It's a bit funny, because in my meanderings into this abyss of useless information, I found that among definitions of "wiener" was this one: Wiener, Norbert (1894-1968) American Mathematician who founded the field of cybernetics. 18  What a name, to have! Can you imagine HIS childhood? I, too, would have bravely escaped into the magical, mystical world of cybernetics. 19  Well, enough of this folderol! Somewhere, there's a pork chop and mashed potatoes with my name on them. Maybe some butter? 20 Gotta love the Merc for those heads. Party time. 21  Peace, yo. Time for Coldstone. 22  Late.   ~H~

The Daily News

1  Have you ever felt that you are just frozen in time?

2  That's how I felt last night.

3  Like, nothing happened.

4  Now, my job is to report the news.

5  But honestly, nothing happened.

6  Oh, the newspaper had an article that some lady had a snowball for thirty years. It's the world's oldest snowball. It, too, was frozen in time.

7  I was thrilled.

8  I went to write the DN, and nothing happened. Well, Coretta Scott King's funeral was warm, lovely, and needed. So that was a little warm. But still. Four churches were set on fire the same day. The frost returned.

9  Oh yeah. There's a fire. Anaheim hills. No one was hurt, thank goodness. And I soon returned, frozen in time at my computer.

10  Some mother was driving her car with her baby on her lap. I'm fundamentally against that. Turns out the mother was Britney Spears. It might as well have been some mother.

11  Ah, people still got murdered. Happens.

12  Someone got hit by a huge rock at that big Maverick surfing thing at Half Moon Bay. Big waves. BIG waves. The surfers were stoked.

13  I went online, and got no e-mails. Just more junk. I think someone might have my password, and I don't even care. My e-mails were frozen.

14  Jay Leno still has a ski-run chin.

15  I somehow am approaching a hundred myspace.com friends. All I did was get a sight. People just trickle in. Yesterday, no callers. Very eerie.

16  I saw my picture. I'm frozen in time.

17  Every time I look at a picture these days, I just think of that. Frozen in time.

18  Everything's weird.

19  All those things that seemed real. Frozen in time.

20  Nothing is real.

21  And nothing to get hung about.

22  Peace.

 

~h~