January 6, 2006
-
The Daily News
1 It's funny; it's 11:30 p.m. as I write this, and I've been sitting, staring at the computer screen for what seems like a generation, and NOTHING wants to ride the lost roller coaster of my mind.
2 I'm just sort of sitting here, stunned.
3 I watched yet more awesome musicians tonight at this little wine place in Campbell. NO, I didn't drink any wine or anything. I just watched two amazing guitar players, and now I'm a tethered corpse, with my mouth hanging open.
4 Guitarists, incidentally, are famous for sitting around with their mouths hanging open. It's like when they are daydreaming and noodling on the guitar, they acquire slackjaw, and their heads bob like buoys on a gentle lake, and their legs keep time like a nervous chihuahua. They MAY think, but only in mixed metaphors. It's pretty hysterical to catch it happening.
5 It's sort of the same thing that happens late at night when you are on Myspace.com, and you catch yourself with your mouth sort of half open to a yawn that just decided to remain in a comatose state, like a Chuck E. Cheese critter after a sudden power surge. They turn, quite suddenly, slackjaw, their mouths hung open.
6 I think sometimes that all Myspacers suddenly stop at around 3:41 a.m. and just go slackjaw. All over the world. The guitarists with insomnia are sitting on couches with their mouths hanging open, and the Myspacers sit comatose at their computers, wondering WHO the Hell Tom is.
7 Myspace is about the weirdest phenomenon to come down the pike in quite some time, incidentally. I was thinking of getting about two million friends, just so everyone would think I was the most popular guy on the planet.
8 We have become SO digital!
9 Okay, so nobody is supposed to know this, but I finally broke down and got a cell phone. S-h-h-h-h!!! It's a SECRET. I was the final holdout. The final maverick who said I would die first. The guy who gets so annoyed by cell phones that he wants just to throw all of them down the loo.
10 Well, I finally got one.
11 I mastered it in about a billionth of a second.
12 And suddenly, I'm one of THEM. And I have this stuff DOWN!
13 At least I did until last night, when I popped my cell phone open, REALLY cool, like those skinny guys at Valley Fair who are all about posing, and got this thing that said, "1 Unread MMS". It stopped me dead.
14 I thought I got this unread mademoiselle. I don't want to tell you what I was thinking, but I knew it couldn't be THAT, so I just stared at it slackjawed...
15 1 Unread Mixed Message?
16 1 Unread Marilyn Manson?
17 1 Unread bag of M & M's? What's to read? An M. And an M.
So my mouth started to go into a comatose state, and I just stared at the screen of my cell. And do you want to know what happened next?
18 My mouth hung open.
19 My daughter found me that way yesterday. At first, she thought she had stumbled upon the decaying ruins of a Cro-magnon tomb.
20 When she realized it was just me staring at something strange on a cell phone, she took it out of my hands and put my Ovation guitar, Cheyenne II, in it's place.
21 After all, I'd have better luck writing a song in that condition than in writing up a good DN.
22 I guess I'm just outta luck.
23 I can't think of a damned thing.
24 Maybe next time.
25 Peace.
Here are some random jellyfish, for no reason.
I'm all about jellyfish, as any fool knows.
I took this at the Monterey Bay Aquarium, last
week, and just
thought it was pretty.
Peace.
~H~
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