November 7, 2005
-
The Daily News
The early Beatles,
with Pete Best
1 Ever just go through a time when you're just not yourself?
2 Maybe it's the exhaustion from last week's events, running auditions, and the haunted house and then the subsequent clean-up, but I've been pretty out there. Just gone. Can't explain it.
3 I got some rest, but still. I mean, when you GET rest, and then you turn on the television, it is usually at odd hours, like 3 a.m. or something, when the TV news has things like a camel that got loose in Tennessee. I watch stuff like that, and figure, "Okay...so now I need to worry about camels coming to town." I'll then peek just over my window sill, and I just HOPE I don't look up to see a camel staring back at me.
4 Three days ago, I had hay.
5 Yesterday was just...strange. I went to Candlestick Park, aka Monster Park, to work the 49er game. It was WAY early, like 8:30 in the morning, when suddenly, Reveille blared through some speakers in the parking lot. If you DON'T know, Reveille is the military bugle call to get you to wake up in the morning.
6 Suddenly, it was blaring across the "F" Gate parking area, really loud! The second it was over, the first bars of Frank Sinatra's New York, New York began drifting over everyone's heads. I looked from atop "F" Gate, and stared over the parking lot, absolutely enchanted. Only in San Francisco. I loved it. But first camels, then that.
7 Okay...so I walk around the stadium, and suddenly, at EVERY
entrance to the field, there is a maroon sign with gulden's-yellow lettering that says this:
No standing
on aisle
and/or vomitory.
8 Interesting choice of noun for a team that is 2 and 6. "And/or vomitory." Huh? Did I READ that correctly?
9 Of course, almost NOBODY knows what a "vomitory" is. All I could think of was, "Who thought of THAT one? How'd he pitch it to the owners? Do YOU think management has any IDEA of what a vomitory is? And let's face it: don't some words have...er...baggage?" I thought it hysterical! Your team is struggling, and yet you may not stand around the vomitory when things go south.
10 Well, thanks in large part to Dictionary.com, I got this series of definitions, for your Monday viewing pleasure:
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4 entries found for vomitory.
vom·i·to·ry 
( P ) Pronunciation Key (v
m
-tôr
, -t
r)
adj.
- Inducing vomiting; vomitive.
n. pl. vom·i·to·ries
- Something that induces vomiting.
- An aperture through which matter is discharged.
- One of the tunnellike passages of an amphitheater or stadium between the seats and the outside wall or passageway.
11 Well, I took a walk around the stadium after a touchdown was called back, the Niners got two penalties in a row, then threw an interception, and New York took it home and scored. It crossed my mind that I should have ordered some Cannibal Corpse T-shirts, or perhaps a Napalm Death Shirt to sell to those poor folks. Anarchists and rebels banded and huddled in the vomitoria.
12 For the most part, they were lined up in each vomitory. I kicked myself for not thinking ahead and ordering feathers to sell. I probably could sell all that stuff on E-Bay, and get some Raider fans' hard-earned pay as well.
13 Anyway, things are weird. I got a dollar bill yesterday that had pink writing on it that said this:
See where I've been
Track where I go next.
www.wheresgeorge.com
14 If you DON'T know, my real name is George. And lately, let me tell you, I don't know where George is any more than anyone else.
15 He appears lost these days.
16 Pretty mystical, considering my mental state.
17 Moving on: I'm going to see a BEATLE!!! Sir Paul McCartney, about whom I wrote a long Xanga about his purported death, will be alive and well on Tuesday night at the Arena. I shall be attending, and taking copious notes as to whether or not I think he is still alive.
18 My sources tell me yes. How often do we get a chance to see a legend? Students see legends every day; they just don' realize it. ; )
19 Anyway, if you can GET tix, you should!!! It is the closest you'll EVER get to seeing a Beatles' concert, or so I've been told. The boy can still rock, even though he is WAY older than me. I can't wait; if anything can put me back on my game, it'll be rock 'n' roll.
20 All you need is love.
21 All you need is VISA.
22 I hope he does side two of Abbey Road.
23 I hope he plays Here Comes the Sun, even though it's a George Harrison song.
24 I hope he isn't dead.
25 Rock. Legends. They seem to be everywhere.
26 You can't hurt steel.
27 Peace.
~h~
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