September 27, 2005
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The Daily News
1 So Don Adams walks into a bar...
2 Maxwell Smart, Tennessee Tuxedo, and Inspector Gadget. The guy could do it all. Here he is on the world's first cell phone. A shoe.
3 Gezundheit.
4 <groan>
5 Did the Giants really move to within 3 games of San Diego? How can this POSSIBLY be? Well, why not enjoy it? The Padres can sure figure out ways to shoot themselves in the foot this year, and it was especially nice to see it happen to Trevor Hoffman, the pitcher who pretty much ended the career of Giants' fave Robby Thompson when he cracked Robbie in the cheek with a fastball years ago. Of course, I've hated the guy ever since.
6 Drama Workshop update: I'm still awaiting word and searching for a director for the fall play. I'll let people know as soon as possible. Once we get a director, I'll begin petioning for parking...
7 You wanna know what's happened to me THREE days in a row? My shoelaces knotted, and I spent significant morning time trying to get the stupid things untangled. Like, no reason, right?
8 I sit there with the clock ticking, saying over and over to myself, "If you can DREAM it, you can DO it!" I focus closely on each little loop, tightened like leather sinews, and I even go into a deep chakra thing to "go under" with grace, and patience. Then I start hollering at my foot, and at the entire situation.
9 Only the knot isn't very moved by my rantings.
10 I get really frustrated when inanimate objects get the best of me. You know, sort of...when you pull a coat off a hanger, and six other articles of clothing fall to the floor, ALWAYS when you're in a rush? And THEN when you try to hang them back up, they get all tangled at the hooks at the top, causing still MORE things to fall to the bottom?
11 Or things just...disappear, only to appear after the hour you wasted looking for them, to be right smack-dab in front of you the whole time...how...?
12 Actually, I'm just ranting here about the shoe. You oughta SEE me in action. I start yelling REALLY stupid things like, "All these guys DO is make shoelaces!!!! You'd THINK they could make shoelaces that DIDN'T get all knotted up!!!!"
13 I'm guessing that it all points to deeper issues.
14 It is, after all is said and done, only a shoe.
15 Gezundheit...
16 Go Giants.
17 Peaceout.
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