September 22, 2005
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The Daily News
1 So whatdya know.
2 It's Thursday already. What a quick week. Yesterday just flew by, and I, for one, enjoyed the speed. Yesterday was just one of those days that needed to go fast.
3 Of course, any time you want things to go fast, they go slow, and any time you want things to go slow, they go fast. It's the law. I thought I'd get out of the chute early yesterday, because I've been cracking down on tardies first period, even though the first coupla days I was tardy due to traffic.
4 So I got out early for once, and instantly hit... traffic, which was backed up to the start of the Earth. Bumper-to-bumper, not budging. El Fricking A, d00d.
5 I got off the first turn-off and went down every back alley in town trying to get to school on time. As I turned on Story, a huge truck carrying hazardous poison turned right in front of me and took its sweet time mumbling down the road like it had a load in its pants.
6 I hit campus with about two-minutes to spare, told a couple of guys from my first period class to hop in the back, and popped on the Star Wars theme really loudly. I then drove through multitudes of students who wouldn't get out of the way if I had an Iraqui Humvee. But Star Wars blaring brought huge smiles to everyone, and I pulled up triumphantly on time for first period!
7 I parked at my room, jumped the rail, and started taking roll. After a minute, the bell rang. I had done it!
8 I always hesitate any time I say, "The bell rang." As long as I've been at YB, it has never had a bell ring. It has always had a horn honk. I THINK it honks in the key of A. I'll straighten that one out and get back at you.
9 But my running joke has been that YB should get the No-Bell prize.
10 Get it? Get it? The No-Bell...
11 Nevermind.
12 Anyway, the day that was supposed to fly by seemed to take forever. My students felt that it wasn't necessary to bring books to school, so I had to lengthen my lecture, which usually causes me to pass out at around 3:01.
13 I thought my clock was stopped, because the day was moving agonizingly slow. But I have a $5 battery operated toy clock from Target, and it's better than a Swiss Army watch, so the time just lengthened, because it's the law.
14 I took off immediately after school, my TOONDRA working as a HUGE bowling ball, again moving through throngs of people who clearly wanted me to run over them, so I did. Indiana Jones blared triumphantly behind me as several freshmen were hopping up and down holding their feet and raising their fists at me in my rear view mirror.
15 I flew down the Lucretia Freeway and within minutes picked up a goodly friend, Thuy. We took off to a great afternoon, which flew by in like four minutes to me. She had to get back though, and be somewhere at 7, so of course, the time again flew, but the traffic made it seem like forever to get her back home.
16 The actual time that passed all day was steady, I'm sure, and quite rhythmical. But it just seemed that in my mind, when I wanted time to fly, it crawled, and when I wanted it to slow down, it flew.
17 Well, in the end, it's right.
18 May your day go whatever speed you wish.
19 I think it's time for me to get outta here.
20 Peace.
~h~
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