September 7, 2005
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The Daily News
1 So…Bob Denver walks into a bar…
2 Nope. He didn’t invent the omelette.
3 Nope. He didn’t get a city named after him.
4 Nope. He didn’t already die in a Rocky Mountain High.
5 Give up? He was Gilligan. Gilligan’s Island. A three-hour tour. A three-hour tour. Even became a teacher…
6 Nevermind.
7 Is Wacko Jacko going to become Wacko Jocko? Inquiring minds want to know. Evidently, Michael Jackson isn’t done doing things that will make people throw rocks at him. Jacko, now 47, is having a redo in Bahrain, and he will be cutting his hair short, wearing less makup, and hopes to get some muscles somewhere. He ALSO wishes to land a long-term gig in Vegas. Yeah? Hey Mikey. How about begging for coins at the end of an organ-grinder’s leash? If you want to be in a circus, join a circus.
8 Meh. Guy needs to get looked at.
9 Okay, here’s a piece. Some guy in West Hartford, Conn. was arrested because he allegedly threatened to castrate a Melly’s ice-cream truck driver with hedge clippers because the guy driving the truck wouldn’t turn off his jingle machine, even though the driver was told that no kids lived there. That item comes to us courtesy of the News of the Weird in yesterday’s Merc, and how THAT one got past me is anybody’s guess.
10 Now this is off the subject, but do ALL ice-cream trucks play Turkey-in-the-Straw, and loop it so it squawks over and over and over? No wonder people go crazy with castration fantasies. That guy probably psycologically wanted to cut the wire to the beat-up old speaker…
11 Guy needs to get looked at.
12 “We need to have a investigation…”
–President George ”Dubya” Bush,
when pushed about the government’s
pathetically slow response to Hurricane
Katrina.
13 Where’s Clippy?
14 Well, it’s Wednesday already. If ever there was a week moving too swiftly for me, this would be it. That’s a rare complaint, granted, but yeesh.
15 If you know me, you probably know why. It’s a tacit thing…
16 Tacit.
17 That’s understood without…
18 Nevermind.
19 It’s a beautifully sunny day; go out and enjoy it,
every chance you can! A sunny day with a smile and
a good friend can surely keep the blues away!
20 The sun is almost up. Write it in your heart.
21 Here comes the sun. It’s all right…
22 Have a wonderful day!
19 Peace.
