June 2, 2005
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The Daily News
1 Congratulations to everyone for a nice Spring Concert last night. It turned out well, with a nice audience, appreciative, but a tad rude (when are people at this school going to get it that yelling names out, hooting and hollering, walking in and out of doors, etc. is considered rude behavior?), and some beautiful musical moments. Thanks to all for keeping it real.
2 Well, I stand corrected on an item I threw out there yesterday. Marilyn Chambers WASN'T Deep Throat. It was Linda Lovelace. Leave it to a student to correct me.
3 Who knew?
4 So the other night Jose and I went out for an afternoon snack, because both of us are HELLA anorexic, and our moms are getting a tad worried, when we discovered that McDonald's on Berryessa gives out these little hotel pamphlets of Nutrition Facts. It's pretty hilarious, because it is done in green and beige, looking every bit like a brochure for jamba juice, or a health clinic from Kaiser.
5 The font is like around a 2, which means virtually NO one would bother reading it. If one did, one would find long paragraphs that tell us virtually NOTHING about real nutrition.
6 To wit: under "butter", which is filled with nutrition, it reads, "butterfat, water, salt, curd (milk solids)". wtf? The pamphlet opens up to around a two-foot by two-foot paper, most of which is just describing what you are eating. It might as well have said, "yellow, fattening butter, you idiot!"
7 If you turn it OVER, it has the REAL facts, but Jose and I figured that by then, most people would have given up and used it to share fries.
8 Might as well. One thing you NEVER want to read while you are reading is the Nutrition Facts on a McDonald's pamphlet. You might discover HORRIBLE stuff, like Chicken Selects containing a whopping 66% fat! Most things range like baseball home runs, you know, from 7 maybe to around 38. Jose seemed horrified that Chicken Selects are the gastronomical equivalent to smoking 200 cigars in one sitting and then attempting to blow up.
9 We had a few belly laughs (wrong image. sorry.) reading the nutrition facts. Like,did you know that butter/garlic croutons have only 1 gram of fat? And that side salad you were so worried about? None. Now, a double-cheeseburger sandwich (yeah, go figure; they list burgers under "Sandwiches". Who on this planet orders a hamburger sandwich at McDonald's?) contains only 23 grams of fat. If you are watching your hips, that would seem to be the place to go, until you realize you are measuring it against the Selects, which are guaranteed to kill you. The Double-Cheese might just clog your aorta for a stint.
10 Anyway, I, for one, am pretty impressed with Mickey Deez for having the balls to print a pamphlet of Nutritional Facts. I'm guessing they HAVE to. But fortunately for all of us, you can't read the font without binoculars, so eat happy!
11 Or happily.
12 Oh, bother.
13 It's around 2 in the morning, which most of y'all couldn't care less about anyway, but in fact, it IS, so I think I'm going to go back to sleep. I woke up to write all this about burgers and health and stuff, and it's giving me a stomach ache, if you really want to know.
14 Tomorrow is the Seniors' last day of school.
15 I'm glazing over.
16 Have a great Thursday, everybody.
17 Enjoy the banquet tonight, music kids! Just avoid McDonald's tonight.
18 Peace.
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