The Daily News

1   Here's the beauty part of being a class advisor: I just got home around an hour ago! How can that be? It's called going out for food! I got home at around midnight! And yes, I AM writing this at one a.m. but it's okay; today is Friday, and all is well.

2  I went to Lee's Noodle House for a fat bowl of pho. If you don't know what pho is, then you haven't lived. I can't describe it here, but it's just the most comforting comfort foods you could get.

3  So, looking back on this LONG day, I noticed that Michael Jackson groomed himself up for the jury by showing up in pajamas. And he did this on the very day that a kid testifies that he and Michael once both wore Michael's pajamas together.

4  I hate when that happens.

5  Michael's hair looked like it was teased by Courtney Love. Nice work, Courtney. I'm sure the judge moved into his corner on THAT one. 

6  How I never even predicted this to become the WEIRDEST case ever is beyond me. I'm officially doing that right now. It just gets creepier and creepier. I really think the paisley pajamas, late arrival because he "fell" and had to go to emergency, disheveled hair, and motorcade impressed the judge. Every now and again, just before I got to trial, I often fall, and injure myself, get rushed to emergency, which makes me only an hour late for my trial. And when I limp in in my paisley pajamas and Courtney do, the judge usually weeps, and then encourages the jury to weep right along with me. To Michael, I guess just getting up and walking around can be Dangerous.

7  Yep. I hate when that happens.

8  Strange days, indeed.

9  Most peculiar, mama.

10  I love the news, I swear. The entire history of the recent Oakland A's gets supoenaed, and Barry parks it safely in his Balcolounger. I guess some people are just untouchable. He still has no clue. None.

11  "I don't think I would take a 5-or a 6-year old to this."

                              --George Lucas, talking to Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes about his new Star Wars: Episode III--Revenge of the Sith, which is opening on May 19.

12  George.

13  Moving on:  I found this new product that is an amazing feat of modern technology. It's called FAT FREE HALF-AND-HALF. Huh? What is it half of then? Well, I use the stuff, because I refuse to go around looking like the side of a house.

14  Maybe it's called that because when you try to open the spout, it sticks together, so you have to take a knife and carve a soggy hole in the top so that HALF of the stuff winds up all over the sink.

15  The best part is, it says, "To open: push up here." It has two little arrows pointing to some mysterious place you can push so that the carton will magically pop open for you.

16  Well, I've done a million push-ups, and I still don't have the thumb strength to crack that code.

17  I hear that 67-Year Old Jane "Hanoi is Fonda Jane" Fonda is writing her autobiography, entitled My Life So Far. Yeah, I'll bet THAT one'll be flying off the shelves. Can't hardly wait.

18  Now now, thou grammarians! I'm well aware that "hardly is considered a negative, and that "can't hardly wait" is grammatically incorrect. The three remaining people on Earth who seem to give a care about grammar are probably pointing their canes to the heavens and cursing.

19  Don't waste your energy, granny. It's over.

20  So's this.

21  Have a wonderful weekend everyone. The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you. 

11  Peaceout.

The Daily News

1  Yeesh.

2  I've mentioned on several occasions that I like that word.

3  Yeesh.

4  Update on Drama:  I was working on a scheme yesterday to get a teacher from another school to come on over next year and teach drama and take over the Workshop, and it almost worked!  Unfortunately, we need sign-ups for drama next year, and then they would have a need that would have to be filled. The teacher we talked to wanted to split schools, which was WAY fine with me, but it would seem that because of the financial straights of the district, it might be difficult to swing something like that right now.

5  If enough kids sign up for Drama next year, it might create some things, so you should try it. You would have to request the class. But you should try. If we don't have a Drama class next year, it will be VERY hard to get it rolling the following year. We REALLY need to have a Drama Workshop next year, but it will be a lot harder if it isn't a class. If we lose the class, we become just another outside group wishing to use the Theatre. When Drama exists as an actual subject,  it receives a lot more serious consideration when we go to after-school productions.

6  Bottom line: sign up for Drama class, and tell them you want it. The demand creates the class. THEN we might be able to make something happen.

7  I'm still done. I saw all of this stuff coming a few years ago, and knew to move out. I just hoped someone would come down the pike to take it all over, but they really need to be an English teacher. So that could possibly happen, but only if we get around 30 kids to sign up.  I just can't, and won't, continue running Drama classes, or directing after school. My life is moving on, and unfortunately, I want to go out now. I've done my last show, taken my last bow, and I'm ready to do other things. Oh, if a new director needed a technical director, I'll offer the help, but the directing side is done.

8  Yeesh.

9  It's pretty emotional stuff.

10  This Friday and Saturday nights, and next Friday and Saturday nights, Independence High School presents Godspell at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $5 advance, and $10 at the door. This show will sell out, so if you are interested in going, let me know. I'm looking to go next Friday night.  Godspell was my favorite show ever at YB. The show we produced in 1990 is number one in my personal Hall of Fame. So much fun!

11  Anyway, go out there and try to get us a Drama class. As soon as you sign up for classes, just ask for Drama.

12  We'll see what happens...

13  Meanwhile, in other news, I am concerned. A lot of people have this thing that the reason I did 24 years of shows and survived standing up is that I did a lot of roids. And THAT'S the reason I look HALLLLLLA buff these days. Well, I take offense to those such rumors. People need to know that I put all that hard work in because, well, I'm an idiot, and that it had NOTHING to do with roids.

14  Anyone who knows me knows that I'm clean as a hwhistle.

15  Ever meet people who put an "h" before they say a "w"? hwhistle.

16  To me, you should put an "h" before everything, because like most people walking around, I'm all about MEEEEEEE!!! Welcome to YB, 2005. Get  it? An "h" before...

17  But nah, no roids for this boy. Don't need 'em. I am roids-free. I am sans-roids. I joined roids-anonymous, if only i could spell anonymous. The governor, who probably DOES roids, gropes about like a huge gorilla, adding a huge dose of stupid to everything he does. See what roids will do? If yo do lots of roids, grope about, and then make idiotic decisions, you too could be a famous buff guy, then a guy who makes idiotic movies, and then you could advance to governor of California, which clearly, a monkey could do. Or even a monkey's friend.

18  But enough about that.

19  I think I'mmina get in my TOONDRA and drive fast around the Theatre about sixty times, 'til I turn to butter.

20  Litmus test. That one goes out to The Scientist.  Didja get that one, Scientist?

21  Yeah, just younme. We are five-star generals in the War of Love. Like one of our heroes, a bald guy named Gallagher, we fight ignorance and stupidity everywhere we go. We try to replace it with Love.

22  Love is all you need. Picasso to fingerpainting, I sweh. YOU be the judge. Oh wait...

23  I better go.

24  Peace.

The Daily News

1   Well, how'dja like Tuesday?

2   Sometimes, it's just like I said, I swear.

3   Have you guys seen that little white dog that now lives in the yellow bin on the basketball courts? He seems to be everywhere! The guy is really pretty cute, in an ugly sort of way. You gotta love a little mutt like that. He has a really nice disposition; seems pretty friendly.

4  I think he's a freshdog.

5  I don't know why, but for some reason, I just want to dub the guy Senor Doughnut, with a teeelda over the enyay.

6  My computer doesn't seem to have a teeelda.

7  Never mind.

8  It's really funny, because last Tuesday, I saw him running really fast around the 300 building, by the bathroom area where the janitors park a bunch of stuff. Then I saw that tiny black and white kitten, and thought that Senor Doughnut was chasing and terrifying the little kitty.

9  Funny thing was, it was Senor Doughnut who was getting chased! I laughed like crazy. That little kitten was terrigying HIM.

10  At least I think he's a him.

11  <upside-down exclamation point>Arriba, arriba!

12  Slow news day.

13  It's all good. I keep getting home really late due to FANTASTICS practices, so slow news is good news.

14  Mt. St. Helens is erupting again. That's not big news except that just two days ago, a student was asking me the name of that mountain in Washington that blew up some years ago. Not a huge coincidence, but I guess significant on a slow news day.

15  Ah, vell. Looking around, I see that all is vell.

16  Slow news, after all, is good news.

17  If nobody's looking, I think I'll get myself off now.

18  Have a slow news day.

19  Peace.

The Daily News

1  I just love stuff.

2  I mean that.

3  Take yesterday.

4  I was absent, because I was at this seminar downtown, learning how to be an awesome teacher and all, when my mind just sort of drifted from what was being done, to other things, like, well, kites, for one thing.

5  I like kites. I enjoy lovely days. I especially enjoy lovely days with kites.

6  So my mind drifted that way, I believe, in part, because I had seen Finding Neverland the day before yesterday. In Finding Neverland, there was a fun scene with a kite. It was a fine scene, just dandy.

7  I guess when I began daydreaming, which I do whenever I'm in a situation where I suddenly am a student listening to a teacher, my mind drifts like a raincloud on a sunny day; it moves across the sky and really enjoys itself.

8  So while I was drifting and being anywhere but where I should have been, I thought of the kite, which made me think of the movie, which in turn, made me think of the Daily News for some reason.

9  Occasionally, the DN drifts...

10  And then it happened. The guy doing the seminar's face suddenly appeared again, as he handed these poster-sized sheets out to the rest of the people at the seminar. Each sheet was around one-foot by two-feet, and they were on this manila-coloured paper.

11  When I turned the paper over, there, at the top of the page, in great bold letters, were the words: THE DAILY NEWS. I laughed, smiled, and looked around for anyone who would have been in on things, but nobody there was. So I just sat there with a great big s#!t-eating grin on my face.

12  Soon, I began drifting again, and I looked out the window. The sky had turned to a great sky blue, and once again, I drifted.

13  The kite appeared in my imagination once again, only this time, after a slight delay, happy music began playing, and the words "the end" appeared, followed by more music, and a lot of credits.

14  I traveled back to the movie theatre from the other day, recalling vividly that the people in the movie theatre all sat and watched the credits roll by. It seemed to me that everybody just sat there after that movie, watching the credits roll by. 

15  When the credits came to an end, they stopped, like they do, and people still just sat there until the music stopped.

16  Then we all got up, picked up our own popcorn bags, soda cups, etc. and slowly left, at peace with the entire world.

17  I just love stuff.

18  I mean that.

19  Take yesterday.

 

The Daily News

1  I'm not around today. I mean, I'm around, but not at school. I'm attending a meeting for ATFNL advisors, learning how to keep kids on the straight and narrow. On a Monday, yet. Oy.

2  Good stuff, I imagine.

3  I'm just not used to being absent, especially on a Monday. It feels weird. It's sort of like you get into a rhythm around this place, you know? And then something comes along and takes you out of your game.

4  I finally had time to get out and see a movie! I think the last one I saw was in black and white. I went and saw some Johnny Depp movie, Finding Neverland. That guy is an awesome actor, I swear. So was that little small fry who played Peter.

5  What's funny is I was at that cheap place, Cinema Saver, and for the life of me I have NO idea why anyone would pay more for a movie. But it's funny; I got a LARGE popcorn, because psychologically, I KNEW I could get free refills.

6  I always do that, and I NEVER get refills. If you eat THAT much popcorn, you oughta be ashamed of going and getting refills.

7  They had a choice of salts. Isn't that something? Like, I got cool ranch, which is such a strange name for that flavor. Why cool? Is it because it's just cool to get it?

8  As always, I sat down ten minutes before they even had the previews, you know, when they give you trivia that you couldn't care less about? Like, "Johnny Depp is the son of the guy who invented hair gel", stuff like that. I try to discipline myself not to eat all the popcorn up before the main feature, but I'm usually down to getting greedy on burnt seeds by the time the movie starts.

9  And the whole time I'm thinking, "Maybe I should go back and refill this right now, so I won't miss the movie!" or "Maybe I should go back and get the roquefort salt, just so I get little different seasoning rush." I wind up doing neither, because I'm always afraid somebody I might know will SEE me going back for MORE popcorn, and then think, "No WONDER he looks like the side of a house!"

10 So it's all done by the time the movie starts, and rarely is there the slightest hope of going and getting what I paid for.

11  And the guy who gives you the stuff from the snack bar always seems to over-fill the soda cups so that they leak all over my hands by the time I sit down. I end up using the entire inch-and-a-half of napkins I got for my basic sloppiness, which keeps my fingers all popcorny for the rest of the night.

12  No wonder I don't venture out too much.

13  And then, midway through the movie, I got my Starbuck's bust. That's when the Starbuck's I had bought an hour earlier wears off, and I become narcoleptic. So during the most touching part of the movie, I am snoring up a storm, until my head almost rolls off my shoulder like a bowling ball.

14  Hour by hour entertainment, I swear.

15  Anyway, if all goes well, I'll be back tomorrow.

16  I'm sure you'll all miss me when I'm gone. Just pretend it's business as usual. No point in going to tears; I'm back tomorrow for goodnes sake.

17  See ya.

18  Peace.

The Daily News

1   Jay Leno claims that the new wife of Prince Charles, Camilla Bowles, is doing all right at her new job, but that she misses her old job of pulling the bells at Notre Dame.

2   He did a skit with this comedian I whose name escapes me, but the guy played Queen Elizabeth, and Leno was interviewing "her". When asked where the new princess was registered, she replied, "AT PETCO!"

3  Leno then mentioned that she the new princess was not going to be regarded as the Princess of Wales, and politely asked what title was to be bestowed on the new bride. The Queen's reply: "Best in Show!"

4  Gotta love it.

5  Long week. Whew.

6  I actually didn't get much work done this week; planning FANTASTICS has been quite a chore, but it's also been a lot of fun.

7  But yeah, I'm dead tired.

8  Joe-the-Bear calmly tells me that it's a good kind of tired...

9  I just sat down. It's 11:53 p.m. as I coin these words, and I just now sat down. We had FANTASTICS practice last night, and THEN I made a fat pot of chili for the Chili Cook-Off, taking place outside TODAY at lunch.

10  I'm glad I have no homework, or I would be going insane about right now. But it's been a really fun week, and yesterday was especially fun, what with the Senior Panoramic picture and all. That was a lot of fun, and I got LOTS of pictures of the class. Normally, I just smile at the Seniors, and tell them that nobody understands but them, only this year, I feel all of it, every single day. But normally, I just sort of observe this stuff from the outside. It's REALLY different when you are on the inside, and feel the uncertainty and all. It's hard to describe, but I'm seeing a lot of kids who are enjoying talking about old times.

11  It's an emotional death watch, I swear.

12  Still, I'm pretty ready for it all.

13  You might want to scope out Twelfth Night this weekend over at Northside Theatre Company.  It starts at 8 p.m. and features our illustrious Angie Higgins, of Pigeon Players fame. Angie, you might recall, recently directed the Players' production of Thugs, which was pretty well-received. Northside is located at the Olinder Center, located at William Street Park. Excellent company, has been for years.

14  Martha Stewart is out, I see. I wish I had something to say about that, but it's just too late at night to goof on Ms. Martha. It's just too late at night to goof on ANYTHING short of bed!

15  I hope you all enjoy a wonderful weekend. I'll be gone on Monday, but I'll still get the DN sent out to my peeps.

16  So I'll see ya all later.

17  Have a good one.

The Daily News

1   Somehow, I've been getting a lot of teevee in lately, don't really know how or why. Normally, I don't spend too much time watching teevee, because I'm usually busying myself with school-related stuff, or I'm just too exhausted even to take a gander at what's on.

2  It's sort of amazing in many ways, because I'm the drama teacher, and one would THINK that a drama teacher would know more about teevee, movies, actors, actresses, etc. more than most. Actually, the exact opposite is the case. I have utterly NO time to spend watching teevee, movies, plays, or anything, really. Isn't that funny?

3  Oh, well. I actually enjoy not being mainstream and knowing everything that's going on in Hollywood and all. It's more fun to be really active and involved in all sorts of things, at least to me it is.

4  But every now and again, I catch a show, and last night I caught this show called Wife Swap. I know, I know...

5  No, no! Don't go running off now...

6  It was a show where this way Pro-Bush Republican lady who was military, anti-feminist, bible-toting, woman's-place-is-in-the-home, and husband-is-Lord-and Master moves into a house that is headed by a woman who is Anti-Bush, leftist anti-military feminist atheist who believes that everyone should share in household duties, and that a home has duties that are shared equally.

7  The leftist also has a loud-mouthed liberal son, outspoken beyond belief.

8  What a ride. The loud-mouthed son spent most of the show hounding the Pro-Bush lady, and it made for great drama.

9  Meanwhile, the husbands both seemed to enjoy the different perspectives. The children of the Pro-Bush lady loved loosening up and making messes, making costumes, fingerpainting, etc.

10  Anyway, it was a fun show; both families learned a little about the benefits of role-reversal, something all of us could probably use a healthy dose of.

11  It's only the first time I've ever seen this strange reality show, but it seemed pretty healthy to me. Both families clearly demonstrated an understanding of the other side, and maybe a LOT of us could use that.

12  Certainly me.

13  I tend to get very stubborn and set in my ways, so it was nice to see that opening one's eyes and seeing the other guy's perspective is a rare thing in most people, even if the THINK they do see the other side.

14  Anyway, I will be watching next time around on this show. I think it's a fun reality show, and I KNOW that a drama teacher isn't supposed to give the time of day to reality shows, but this one worked, so, sorry.

15  I got home late once again yesterday, and this was being created around 11:30 p.m. so I think I'll back out and just wish everyone a nice day.

16  Do that. Enjoy the world in March; it is always a very beautiful month.

17  I'll be back with more tomorrow, so just enjoy the sunny, mild days. It's been a nice week.

18  See ya soon.

 

The Daily News

1  Yesterday some guy tried to assassinate me.

2  I swear. I was just "kicking it" in my room when this missile came flying into my room,  just like whistling by, a fuse, a trajectory, the whole nine yards. It landed in the front of my room, to the exreme left side, and it instantly let out with a large plume of smoke.

3  I figure that it was the CIA trying to hush me up. I quickly realized that they wouldn't want to mess with one of their best agents, and so concluded it was more likely than not to have been the work of a classic YB knucklehead.

4  Well, that's exactly what it was. No harm. Smoke bomb. As always, the alarms went off, and absolutely NOBODY took them seriously, even though technically there was a form of fire.

5  I shrugged it off. Buzz caught the guy, and life was once again restored. Just another day. I stayed outside for the next period, looking out at the school. It was then I realized that it was a beautiful Spring day, and things just looked lovely.

6   I love how I can't seem to figure out the weather. Yesterday I was certain it was going to be freezing out, so I put on a sweatshirt, coat, and snow shoes, just to be sure.

7  Suddenly, the sun came out, and it was instantly Spring!

8  I realize how unobservant I am when it rains. It has been such a wet winter that I didn't really notice the cherry trees all around the lawn until yesterday. When the sun bursts through, everything just looks more crisp and clear.

9  I really noticed how nice our school is. I was talking with Michelon for a bit, and we both remarked that YB is a pretty school. And I don't recall who I was talking to about YB just drawing you in, but I do remember the conversation made a lot of sense.

10  We talked about how the school captures you, and draws you into all its things. It's funny, because for years I just thought of YB as my "job", and as a place I needed to go in order to pay my bills. The past couple of years, however, I find it has been really enjoyable.

11  Yesterday I was in the faculty lounge. They have pictures of the entire staff, but I think the pictures are from 2001, not really a fun year for me. I just thought of how much things have changed, and how much more I have enjoyed coming in each day, and how REALLY not fun things were back in the days when our department had just lost Ken Ponticelli and Shawna Fleming. Those were my two best friends, and in my heart, they actually still probably are, even though we have all been tossed around by life and all.

12  My whole life was a daily struggle to keep the Performing Arts alive at YB, and it took its toll. We had teachers come and go, causing tremendous strain on my life, a strain that ultimately made my life a living torture. I found myself praying, which I don't spend a lot of time doing.

13   But pray I did, and it seemed nothing was improving, and in fact, that everything was spinning terribly out of control.

14  The following Fall, I met the Class of '05. Do you believe in angels?

15  I won't go on, because I just won't. I'll save that all for later. But since that time, my life has filled with absolute joy. I look forward to coming here every day, and then days like yesterday, when I suddenly look up and see how beautiful things can become, move in and open up my eyes to the wonder of it all.

16  Good times, good times.

17  It made me smile, just to look out and see what this school means to a lot of us. Yeah, we moan about this and that. Yeah, it drives me crazy half the time. Yeah, the occasional knucklehead lofts a smoke bomb into your room now and again. Still,  it's a pretty special place. Certain moments allow us to sit back and enjoy things. I saw the blossoming cherry trees, the green lawns, the ghetto clock tower, and most of all, some of the sweet smiles of my Seniors, and I went home with a little extra joy, and I just wanted to share that. The sun can do that to a person. Even me.

18  I was in the faculty lounge yesterday, a rare time I actually wander out. In my box was the usual blivet of junk mail, and my annual blue "Request for Transfer to Another School" sheet, which I annually put in my desk until the day before the deadline, and that I usually wind up tossing. I have twice submitted one, but never really wound up going.

19  Yesterday I immediately crumpled it up and tossed it into the garbage.

20  Yesterday was sweet,with the possible exception of the assassination attempt; yesterday was sweet.

21  Right now, I've no intention of going anywhere. I have my Seniors to thank, truly.

22  Thanks. You guys all have made a difference.

23  That's it.

24  Peace.

The Daily News

1   I got home a bit late last night, and was still able to catch the tail end of American Idol, one of my favorite shows on teevee. I'm not quite sure why I got suckered into it, but it is simply irresistible to me, especially this year.

2  For one thing, they raised the age to 28, I think it is, and when people get into their late 20's, they begin blossoming. They realize that they don't have the rest of their lives to make it happen, and they get MUCH more polished, alert, and focused.

3  This has been my experience in Performing Arts as well. Kids who were good in high school, and then continue on, often get remarkable when they hit their mid to late twenties. Sometimes they do it for fun; other times they are still focused on the Dream, but either way, they are right there.

4  This year's Idol is blessed with one of the best groups of guys I  have ever seen. Nearly EVERY guy on this year's show is battling for his life, and consequently, the talent level is soaring. It's also fun to see a couple of rockers up there; just refreshing! But I looked at nearly every male candidate last night, and it will be pretty hard to see any one of them depart.

5  The girls...not so good. They're okay, but when placed next to the awesome talent of the guys this year, you can readily see who will probably get eliminated. With the guys, it's a tough call.

6  Speaking of rockers, did you see that Brian Welch, ex-guitarist for Korn, is now handing tickets out for God? A picture of a smiling Welch adorned page 2A of yesterday's Merc News. He was smiling, chatting, and enjoying a visit with the pastor of Valley Bible Fellowship church on Sunday.

7  Working on School of Rock with the Seniors has been an ode to joy: looking up great rock tidbits, enjoying some great music, and goofing on the FANTASTICS entrance has kept me both occupied and entertained in the past week.

8  I have begun a short series on my other site, which is www.xanga.com/El_Directore, and it focuses on some fun rock stories that might be of interest to even the casual observer. I began with the story of Layla, a rock anthem by a group called Derek and the Dominoes, a band featuring Eric Clapton. Clapton was madly in love with the wife of Beatle George Harrison, and wrote Layla for her, while he kept his love trapped inside. Eventually, he wound up getting her for his wife, with George's ultimate blessing.

9  I also researched the famous story of the Paul is Dead hoax, which also featured a Beatle, Paul McCartney. It was, and still IS, rumored that Paul died in a horrible auto accident in 1966, and that the Beatles replaced him with a look/sound alike named Billy Campbell, who went through plastic surgery to keep the Beatles golden goose moving forward. The rumor was that the Beatles let their fans know of Paul's demise through cryptic messages in pictures, songs, and album covers. The eerie thought that occurs as one reads the tale is that the Beatles may have spent their most creative years obsessed with "secretly" getting that story to their fans. Is Paul a "Stepford" Beatle? Haha! Probably not. Probably not. But still...

10  It's a fun story, and I had a lot of fun researching both stories, and I hope you get over there and take a peek.

11  I'd like to apologize to Ms. Hooper on behalf of everyone who comes in and uses this building. I  owe you at least a stool, and perhaps enough to total 30! I offer no excuse; I was wrong, and anyone who comes in the building and touches things that don't belong to them, or without asking, is wrong as well. I should know better, and so should you. There will be no more. EVERYONE should get this message, loud and clear.

11  Good luck to everyone today; I know you guys will all make us proud.

12  Well, that's about it for Tuesday. I think I'm going to cut it off right here and say, "Have a great day."

13  And Hooper, thanks for being the best. You're a class act.

14  Peaceout.