March 11, 2005
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The Daily News
1 Here's the beauty part of being a class advisor: I just got home around an hour ago! How can that be? It's called going out for food! I got home at around midnight! And yes, I AM writing this at one a.m. but it's okay; today is Friday, and all is well.
2 I went to Lee's Noodle House for a fat bowl of pho. If you don't know what pho is, then you haven't lived. I can't describe it here, but it's just the most comforting comfort foods you could get.
3 So, looking back on this LONG day, I noticed that Michael Jackson groomed himself up for the jury by showing up in pajamas. And he did this on the very day that a kid testifies that he and Michael once both wore Michael's pajamas together.
4 I hate when that happens.
5 Michael's hair looked like it was teased by Courtney Love. Nice work, Courtney. I'm sure the judge moved into his corner on THAT one.
6 How I never even predicted this to become the WEIRDEST case ever is beyond me. I'm officially doing that right now. It just gets creepier and creepier. I really think the paisley pajamas, late arrival because he "fell" and had to go to emergency, disheveled hair, and motorcade impressed the judge. Every now and again, just before I got to trial, I often fall, and injure myself, get rushed to emergency, which makes me only an hour late for my trial. And when I limp in in my paisley pajamas and Courtney do, the judge usually weeps, and then encourages the jury to weep right along with me. To Michael, I guess just getting up and walking around can be Dangerous.
7 Yep. I hate when that happens.
8 Strange days, indeed.
9 Most peculiar, mama.
10 I love the news, I swear. The entire history of the recent Oakland A's gets supoenaed, and Barry parks it safely in his Balcolounger. I guess some people are just untouchable. He still has no clue. None.
11 "I don't think I would take a 5-or a 6-year old to this."
--George Lucas, talking to Lesley Stahl of 60 Minutes about his new Star Wars: Episode III--Revenge of the Sith, which is opening on May 19.
12 George.
13 Moving on: I found this new product that is an amazing feat of modern technology. It's called FAT FREE HALF-AND-HALF. Huh? What is it half of then? Well, I use the stuff, because I refuse to go around looking like the side of a house.
14 Maybe it's called that because when you try to open the spout, it sticks together, so you have to take a knife and carve a soggy hole in the top so that HALF of the stuff winds up all over the sink.
15 The best part is, it says, "To open: push up here." It has two little arrows pointing to some mysterious place you can push so that the carton will magically pop open for you.
16 Well, I've done a million push-ups, and I still don't have the thumb strength to crack that code.
17 I hear that 67-Year Old Jane "Hanoi is Fonda Jane" Fonda is writing her autobiography, entitled My Life So Far. Yeah, I'll bet THAT one'll be flying off the shelves. Can't hardly wait.
18 Now now, thou grammarians! I'm well aware that "hardly is considered a negative, and that "can't hardly wait" is grammatically incorrect. The three remaining people on Earth who seem to give a care about grammar are probably pointing their canes to the heavens and cursing.
19 Don't waste your energy, granny. It's over.
20 So's this.
21 Have a wonderful weekend everyone. The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you.
11 Peaceout.
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