March 7, 2005
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The Daily News
1 I’m not around today. I mean, I’m around, but not at school. I’m attending a meeting for ATFNL advisors, learning how to keep kids on the straight and narrow. On a Monday, yet. Oy.
2 Good stuff, I imagine.
3 I’m just not used to being absent, especially on a Monday. It feels weird. It’s sort of like you get into a rhythm around this place, you know? And then something comes along and takes you out of your game.
4 I finally had time to get out and see a movie! I think the last one I saw was in black and white. I went and saw some Johnny Depp movie, Finding Neverland. That guy is an awesome actor, I swear. So was that little small fry who played Peter.
5 What’s funny is I was at that cheap place, Cinema Saver, and for the life of me I have NO idea why anyone would pay more for a movie. But it’s funny; I got a LARGE popcorn, because psychologically, I KNEW I could get free refills.
6 I always do that, and I NEVER get refills. If you eat THAT much popcorn, you oughta be ashamed of going and getting refills.
7 They had a choice of salts. Isn’t that something? Like, I got cool ranch, which is such a strange name for that flavor. Why cool? Is it because it’s just cool to get it?
8 As always, I sat down ten minutes before they even had the previews, you know, when they give you trivia that you couldn’t care less about? Like, “Johnny Depp is the son of the guy who invented hair gel”, stuff like that. I try to discipline myself not to eat all the popcorn up before the main feature, but I’m usually down to getting greedy on burnt seeds by the time the movie starts.
9 And the whole time I’m thinking, “Maybe I should go back and refill this right now, so I won’t miss the movie!” or “Maybe I should go back and get the roquefort salt, just so I get little different seasoning rush.” I wind up doing neither, because I’m always afraid somebody I might know will SEE me going back for MORE popcorn, and then think, “No WONDER he looks like the side of a house!”
10 So it’s all done by the time the movie starts, and rarely is there the slightest hope of going and getting what I paid for.
11 And the guy who gives you the stuff from the snack bar always seems to over-fill the soda cups so that they leak all over my hands by the time I sit down. I end up using the entire inch-and-a-half of napkins I got for my basic sloppiness, which keeps my fingers all popcorny for the rest of the night.
12 No wonder I don’t venture out too much.
13 And then, midway through the movie, I got my Starbuck’s bust. That’s when the Starbuck’s I had bought an hour earlier wears off, and I become narcoleptic. So during the most touching part of the movie, I am snoring up a storm, until my head almost rolls off my shoulder like a bowling ball.
14 Hour by hour entertainment, I swear.
15 Anyway, if all goes well, I’ll be back tomorrow.
16 I’m sure you’ll all miss me when I’m gone. Just pretend it’s business as usual. No point in going to tears; I’m back tomorrow for goodnes sake.
17 See ya.
18 Peace.
