February 9, 2005
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Happy New Year!!
The Daily News
1 Happy New Year!!!
2 I say it in English. Sue me! Haha!
3 So...Ozzie Davis walks into a bar, but it was on Friday, so we humbly apologize for the slow recognition. Oz was the man. And Tuesdays are basically dead to me...
4 So...Keith Knudsen walks into a bar...
5 Who? Drummer for the Doobie Brothers.
6 And now...the news!
7 It's funny that my diatribe against Tuesdays came almost exactly on Mardi Gras..a.k.a. FAT TUESDAY. As always, New Orleans knows how; San Jose just turned stupid. And I STILL am fundamentally against Tuesdays, but maybe we should add an annual Mardi Gras, just for tradition. Just not in San Jose.
8 Yesterday I received a donation receipt for the Tsunami Relief money we sent off to Evelyn. She forwarded it to a friend, Matt Clemm, who donated it through the Yahoo! Inc. Donation Matching Program. I have to assume that means we sent off $1357, and that Yahoo matched, meaning our total effort as a school was $2714! So thank you Seniors, NHS, and ASB!!! I shall be sending a letter to Mr. Rocha with the great news. Thank you Evelyn, thank you Matt, and especially, thank you to all who contributed!
9 Dieting sucks.
10 I have been eating apples and drinking HORRIBLE diet sodas for around a month now. People ask what diet I'm on, and I couldn't tell them. The rabbit-food, apple, and bad diet soda diet! The trouble is, when I get home after having eaten six apples all day, I want something REAL, like an ox or something.
11 I usually wind up cutting a small hunk of cheddar and wolfing a few random saltines, just because I can. I then eat a huge salad and a small piece of chicken or fish or something ridiculous.
12 Last night I messed up! I had like three small slices of sourdough with this seafood stew called cioppino, which is, arguably, the best-tasting dish on the planet. But man! I've reached a point where I get guilty about anything I eat that isn't an apple or lettuce.
13 This is all because of that health scare my doctor threw at me in December. I've felt great, actually, and am probably healthier than I've been in years, but JAY-zuss!!
14 If someone walked into my classroom TODAY with an ox, I'd eat it.
15 And how am I supposed to get through New Years when it's RIGHT in the MIDDLE of two weekends??? SAY, could I talk someone into an ox?
16 Hook it up, yo.
17 I always enjoy TET, 'cuz it seems to go on all month. It's time for everybody to start giving white guys red envelopes.
18 Last night I thought my NEIGHBOR had EATEN an ox, I swear, only it was just like SIX-THOUSAND firecrackers going off, scaring my dog so bad that she is no longer a Nazi, but a nurse, instead.
19 S#!t, son!!
20 Her head started revolving in three-sixties like some macabre cartoon.
21 Me? I just kept munching my salad.
22 And slurping down my sixteenth Diet-Coke.
23 Some party!!
24 Well, Chuc Mung Nam Moi, everybody!
25 Peace.
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