January 7, 2005
-
The Daily News
1 So...H. David Dalquist walks into a bar...
2 Oh...he's the guy who invented the Bundt pan, the most popular selling pan on the planet. Heart failure, 86. Done deal.
3 Bundt pans are those pans with the sort of stem in the middle, like a bell pepper. For whatever reason, in 1950, this guy thought it would be REALLY cool to make a pan for the Minneapolis chapter of the Hadassah Society. The purpose of the pan was that the folds would make really swell, easy-to-cut slices of cake, to feed large groups.
4 Although they had been around for sixteen years, the Bundt pans never really took off, until 1966 when some gal from Texas took a second place in the Pillsbury Bake-Off with a thing called a Tunnel of Fudge cake, featured in a Bundt pan. From that point on, no kitchen would be caught without one..
5 Okay, THAT story was buried on page 9A of yesterday's Mercury, which is where I get about 30% of the nonsense you see on these pages. I thought it was great that some reporter guy actually got SENT to Edina, Minnestota, to cover the passing away of the now immortal H. David Dalquist.
6 But REALLY, I figured the Tsunami relief, and that story gets sort of heavy after a while, and I searched the paper for something a little lighter, and came upon this article that was, arguably, THE most useless piece of news so far this year. What MAKES it news it the fact that it actually got into the paper in the first place!
7 J. Jonah Jameson would have SCREAMED at his entire staff for coming in with a story like that. Perry White would have been flabbergasted! Yet, there it was. Gotta love it.
8 I was actually perched and ready to send you news of the incoming Perfect Storm, a convergence of THREE powerful storms that were to slam into heart of America this weekend, but suddenly, THAT story has petered out as well.
9 I was GOING to talk about the 49ers' firings of General Manager Terry Donahue and Head Coach Dennis Erickson, but I really couldn't think of anything except that the firing of Donahue was long overdue, and the firing of Erickson premature. John York, the 49ers idiotic owner, seemed to think that the 49ers could possibly lure USC Coach Pete Carroll into the 49er's fold. Carroll just won his second national title the other day, and USC this year was the real deal. So I imagine there is nothing he would rather do than to switch winning careers and move north to coach a team that won two games this season, making them the LOSINGEST team in franchise history. I know I'D wanna jump on board.
10 But all that PALED in comparison to the passing of H. David Dalquist, inventor of the Bundt cake pan.
11 Let's see <tap, tap, tap>. Anything else? Oh yeah, German model Heidi Klum is engaged to Seal. Does that mean her name will be Heidi Seal? If you ask me, that guy sort of LOOKS like a seal. Great pipes though. Still, he looks like he oughta get fat like me and bark out on a pier in Fisherman's Wharf, rather than marrying that Klum girl.
12 What else...oh...the Show, next Friday and Saturday, and the following Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
13 Oh, my, my. Oh my, my. Can you boogie? Can you fly?
14 afdlafjsdkjsdkfj.
15 One time, someone mailed me an e-mail with something like that on it, you know, when you can't think of what the heck to write, so you just sort of tap the keys arbitrarily, and I was so bored that I put it up on google, just to see what came up. Believe it or not, it led to about twenty different websites.
16 The internet is so fun, and WEIRD. To me, the WEIRDEST thing is how fast yahoo maps could pop up with perfect directions to places. How does that happen? I mean, I'm pretty amazed with MOST things computers can do for you, like take eighteen years to load things, freeze to the point of my wishing to throw the thing into the parking lot, to e-mails timing out and disappearing, and all sorts of OTHER things that make me jump up and down like Hitler, cursing and crying and screaming and going crazy and...
17 Well, I tend to think I have been rambling here for a while, so I think I'll bow out gracefully. When you start writing long pieces about the death of a cake-pan inventor, and ending with Hitler analogies, it's time to pull the plug.
18 Peace.
19 STOP THE PRESSES!!! You know how they say be very careful about what you wish for, because you just might get it? So I went for a ride to Starbuck's last night at around 9:30, came back, parked behind one of my cars in the driveway, helped kids with papers online, and then went to bed around 1:30. This morning, I fought the windnrains of the nasty morning, scrambling quickly across my driveway so I could get the morning Merc, only to find a TICKET on the window of my TUNDRA!!! I got a ticket IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT for parking behind my own car!!! So how about THAT one!! What sort of cold-blooded cop would drive around in the middle of the night giving out tickets????? ESPECIALLY in a guy's own driveway!!!
20 Enjoy the storm...
21 Ha!
Recent Comments