December 9, 2004
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The Daily News
1 So...Dime Bag Emmett walks into a bar...
2 Might have something to do with the fact that his mother should never have named him "Dime Bag" to begin with.
3 It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, at least in my book.
4 Deep Freeze, Dept. Yesterday was one of those days that made perfectly hyper people want to lie down under a pile of warm blankets, crank up the heater, and drift off to sleep. We got into the Theatre to rehearse for the one-acts, and it was seriously hopeless. They were setting up for the parent meeting, and it was cold, and we just sat around, bonding. Seriously. Never rehearsed for a second, but we sure had fun doing a whole buncha nuttin'! You ought really to try that sometime. Plenty o' nuttin'.
5 Hmm. Good idear for a song...
6 Tracee was knitting. Or crocheting. Someone once told me the difference, but then, someone once told me the difference between fuschia and puce.
7 It looked really pretty relaxing. I am seriously thinking of taking it up, but for the life of me, I couldn't tell you the difference between a knit and a pearl. It just looked so great watching Tracee all relaxed and mellow. For a moment, I thought I might have been a granma in my previous.
8 Probably. Probably a saggy old thing. Yep.
9 So much emotion and pressure in the last month! Spirit Week took a heavy toll on me. Staying at the school 'til past 9 every night for over a month-and-a-half was an enormous investment of my physical and emotional makeup. I thought I was Superman. I thought I was made of steel, and you know, you can't hurt steel. At least, I thought.
At least not until a little after 9, which was becoming WAY past my bedtime! 9 o'clock would hit, my ears would get red, my head would get in dire need of a huge, comfy pillow, and my cheeks would burn bright. And STILL, I thought I was made of steel.
10 How wrong I was! To this minute, when 9 p.m. rolls around, I get really sleepy, and almost nod off. I first noticed this a coupla weeks ago at Camp Anytown, when at around 9 each night, we would be discussing some deep issues, and my eyes would get heavy. By the time the fortieth kid screamed and cried about how he been done in, I was counting sheep.
11 Yet, I KNEW I had to fight to stay awake at those times. And somehow, I managed. Like right when my head would clunk over to the right like a a cracked bowling ball, I would manage to swing out of it, acting like it was nuttin', almost killing the guy sitting next to me, who was also a clunk.
12 Isn't that funny? Those embarrassing times when you are at something REALLY important, but you STILL begin to drift off? I mean, here were kids, pouring their hearts out, and I'm counting little cartoon sheep that are jumping gleefully through my frabjous mind, like they were cover boys for pajama bottoms or something.
13 Then my jaw would slacken, eyes would crash shut, and quite soon, a very long drool...
14 I'm SO sorry I just wrote that...
15 Notice I didn't take it out, just sorry I wrote it.
16 I need all the words I could crank out. Slow news day, yo.
17 More to come...
18 "But Professor, where will the students sleep?"
"Where they always sleep, in the classroom..."
---Groucho Marx
<aka Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff>, Horsefeathers
19 <poof>
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