October 25, 2004
-
The Daily News
1 I have been trying to get this old clunker of a computer to do things that it just can't do. Hey, I got it for a hundred bucks, keyboard AND monitor included, and it does just dandy with the internet, websites, power point, excel, office, front page, and a whole buncha other goodies. It's not even that slow; it moves along.
2 But things like pictures, dvd's, and media, it sucks. So I have this brand new digital camera which totally rocks, and I just can't seem to get the computer to be able to burn the pictures to CD-R's.
3 So yesterday I bought this MAD DOG DOMINATOR 4-in-1 52X CD-RW + DVD-ROM that is as big as my TUNDRA! This little guy supposedly could DO IT ALL!!!
4 Not only THAT, but I was able to pull out the existing, and put this BIG BAD MAD DOG in its place!
5 How exciting, huh? I tore my old housing apart, popped that baby in there and...
6 Illegal operations. Warning! Your computer is about to shut down. YOU HAVE COMMITTED SOME SORT OF COMPUTER CRIME, AND YOU CAN SEND A REPORT WHICH WILL DO NOTHING, OR JUST PRESS "DON'T SEND" AND EVERYTHING WILL SHUT DOWN AND RESTART!!!
7 Computers, I swear. I just went with it. Un-did stuff. Re-did stuff. FINALLY, my computer added a little light that said, "WRITE THESE FILES TO CD!" which it previously couldn't do!!! YEAH, BABY!!!!
8 I got all these pictures ready to pop onto a CD-R, so I could clear the boards on the hard, and...
9 It said, "PLEASE INSERT A CD INTO THE DRIVE, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU ALREADY HAVE, YOU HAVEN'T"!
10 This was after wrestling around with the thing all night. I have the housing all over my living room, tiny-ass screws and teensy-tiny screwdrivers hither and yon, colorful installation CD's that say nifty things like NERO EXPRESS, and POWER DVD, plastic baggies, rebate information, and all the rest.
11 I tried again. It said, "PLEASE, YOU THINK YOU'RE PULLING A FAST ONE HERE? YOU THINK I JUST FELL OFF A TURNIP TRUCK? INSTALL A CD INTO THE DRIVE, BECAUSE I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU TELL ME, IT AIN'T THERE! YOU CAN CHECK IF YOU WANT. GO AHEAD!"
12 I pushed the CD-R Drive. There was a perfectly clean CD-R in there. I took it out and put in a new one. It read, "NICE TRY PAL!"
13 And at the bottom corner of the computer, some little pop-up said, "You have files ready to be written to CD."
14 I figured I'd just get it in the morning. I'd go online instead.
15 It began it's little journey, you know, the seven steps to getting online. After the seventh step, it hovered for like a year. I planted a few flowers, changed a tire, cleaned the garage, and came back to a huge STOP sign. "YOU CHANGED YOUR VISA CARD NUMBER OR SOMETHING, SO YOU CAN'T GO ONLINE OR CHECK E-MAILS, OR WRITE THE DN, OR DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! CLICK THE BUTTON IN THE LOWER-RIGHT HAND CORNER TO CHANGE YOUR INFORMATION, OR YOU'LL NEVER E-MAIL YOUR FRIENDS, EVER AGAIN!!!! AND DO IT NOWWWW!!"
16 <song swirling through my head> Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...
17 So I pushed the button. That annoying little hourglass popped up, and spun for around six or seven more hours. I finally did what any red-blooded American would do: I pushed the "off "button.
18 Mind you, I've been forewarned by every computer savvy person on the planet that turning off your computer when it isn't "safe" to do so could result in head injuries, hard-drive mishaps, and simply getting blown to smitereens right there in your fat chair. I didn't care. I got savage! This MACHINE was a control freak, and I don't suffer control freaks very well, since I AM one! So I pushed off, and held it for three minutes. B@#ch!!! Take that!
18 Ever just do that? You get so annoyed by your computer that you just TAKE the gamble that you might blue-screen it, and you just try to murder it? I just popped the off button, and it all went away.
19 I got back on, and it fired right up and got me online.
20 So now I can tell you all about my daughter's rock debut last night at MACLA, 510 S. First St. They had an open mic poetry/music/verbal expression/hip-hop/acoustic night, starring all the open mic people from Cafecito (in the daytime, it is known as Iguanas, downtown across from Mickey Deez), and it was really a folksy flashback to the 50's coffee-house beat stuff. Caitlin and her friend Monica sang two original tunes to a full house, and they were met with whoops and hollers! I loved it!!
21 So K.T., Daddy's proud of you, you rock goddess!
22 Nah. But honestly, they really did great, and I was a pretty proud dad.
23 So I thought I would brag to a captive audience, that's all. They will be having more of those, because Cafecito is pretty small. It was great seeing not only my daughter, but a lot of local artists in a relatively new venue. I hope it grows.
24 That's about it for Monday. I just had to moan a little about computers. I'm sure we've all had some of those frustrations. I'm sure it will be fine; it was just sort of funny how much those little beasts can drive us to the point of madness.
25 Never fear. I just dashed out my door in utter glee, running around the neighborhood sharing root beer and blowing whistles, and then talking, and again, LISTENING intently, to the "wee people". I'm okay; word of honor. It just all turned sweet, that's all.
25 And never fear; there is always sweetness somewhere. Ya gotta have faith.
26 Ya just gotta have faith.
27 Peace.
Recent Comments