September 27, 2004
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The Daily News
1 "We can't play lke that and expect to win."
--49er Head Coach Dennis Erickson
2 Guy's a genius.
3 Monday, Monday...
4 No matter how you cut it, Mondays never seem to run the way they potentially can.
5 Hey, see that? I avoided ending a sentence with a propostion.
6 I saw some commercial today in which a bride is about to throw a bouquet, out on a cliff at the ocean, only to throw it a little too far, causing all her bridesmaids to fall off the cliff and plop into the ocean. Have any of you seen it? It's pretty good.
7 Of course, I loved it.
8 Where's Holden Caulfield when you need him?
9 Lessee...I'd love to throw in a quick item about the Giants, but they seem to be writing their own book. Yeesh.
10 We have lots coming up this week: Pigeon Players' auditions for Thugs; a rock concert on the horizon, and our own good ol' Drama Workshop beginning auditions for the Fall One-Acts, all of which means someone around here is bound to be pretty busy.
11 I was out at SBC Park this weekend selling overpriced stuff to people who could afford it, so I am as rich as Croesus tonight. That will last about twelve/tenths of a second, but boy does it ever feel good.
12 And then I got home, I had an icy cold lemonade, which I craved all day long, and sat down to write some fun stuff for the masses out there who wake up dazed that it's morning. They curse, do thangs, and then settle into a good mug o' hot joe. I hope that just about then, they decide to read the Daily News.
13 Only thing is, there IS no news today, really. I don't consider the Seattle Seahawks beating the crap out of a rookie quarterback news. So my Sunday evening is spent thinking of fun stuff to throw out there. I'm always pretty glad when there is no news. They have a saying about that...
14 Ah, it's fun to kick back and think of mindless stuff that works on a Monday morning, what with one eye opened for the day, and the other protesting the entire concept of Monday.
15 Fear not, O you of not-wanting-to-get-outta bed and face another spaced-out Monday. It happens to the best of us, but just take a sip, smile, get yourself put together, and make an oath in the mirror.
16 Here's the oath: I will not go ballistic on anyone today. I will not go ballistic on anyone today. I will not go ballistic on anyone today.
17 Your Monday assignment is, quite truly, this: Get through this day with a fake smile and an understanding that NOBODY WANTS TO BE HERE!
18 This advice comes to me through the very wise Joe-the-Bear. Not a bad guy, yeah?
19 So put yourself together and smile all day. Before you know it, the Monday Funk will leave like a bad rash, and you will be all ready for the Real World, which actually begins on Tuesday.
20 Time to Put on the Ritz. It's really just acting on Monday anyway. We are, all of us, actors in a Show that everyone arrived at a day early, complete with headaches and tension. That's Monday.
21 At least according to Joe-the-Bear. Well, Joe-the-Bear is much more spiritual on Mondays. He just figures they are another day, so what? I raise a cup to JTB, who rules the stars.
22 I raise a strong cup to all of you this morning, just for getting up and walking around.
23 As my old mate Carlos Santana would say, "Go out and make it better."
24 Peace.
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