September 6, 2004
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The Daily News
1 Sad news weekend. The situation in Beslan is one of the worst stories of our generation, amazingly gruesome and horrid. In our history, have we ever seen the like? Well, sadly, yes...
2 Hurricane Frances has torn people's lives apart in Florida; and we had terrible fires in Sonoma County, and THEN Clinton almost blows an aorta! OY!
3 Sometimes it's good for us to count our blessings.
4 And I forgot all about De La Salle losing ridiculously to Bellevue, a Washington high school, in a game that drew 24, 987. Can you imagine us trying to house a crowd that size? 24, 987 for a high school football game. Amazing. Isn't Bellevue a mental institution?
5 Anyway, some sad things, I imagine.
6 Sooo...
7 How'd YOU beat the heat? I simply went shopping, for two straight days!! I swear, I drove around in the air-conditioned Tundra, went into Target like for a year, went to the movies and FINALLY saw The Village, and strolled around bookstores. I'm a firm believer in air-conditioning, which is a natural move for a white boy. See, when white boys are younger, their whole thing with hot weather is that it is a perfect time to go to the beach and work on a tan! Go figure!
8 But when white boys turn into white men, we realize little things like, uh, skin cancer? And unbearable discomfort? Head for the stores, o big white men!
9 I must have spent a gajillion dollars on useless stuff. My favorite shop was the dollar store. They played this really fun old music, and I must have strolled around there for a year, and then left without spending a dime! How's THAT for sales resistence? While I was in there, some craggy smoker-biker gal looked up at me, and I was amazed! She was tatooed from head to foot, except her face. I thought I was looking at Rod Steiger, this old actor from the sixties and seventies, who played the lead role in Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man, one of my favorite books as a lad. She coulda BEEN Steiger, I swear. I almost asked her for her autograph, but I figure I was just hallucinating from the heat.
10 Anyway, the heat can cause severe hallucinations, so I would advise avoiding it, and going to places that are air-conditioned.
11 Like Florida.
12 M'bad.
13 It took everything I had to get to the computer and write this, because I have no air-conditiong at home, just this jet-stream wonderful cooling fan, which does work, but it's really tough to get motivated, unless you've experienced a really cool heat hallucination, like that tatooed lady. I swear, I was staring at this dark turquoise dragon, and it's head twisted and looked at me, and the story began to unfold...
14 Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sails...
15 Wasn't that Peter, Paul McCartney, and Mary Magdalene...?
16 I heard she was holding hands with John Lennon at the Last Supper...
16 I gotta get in out of the heat!
17 'Til the next time...
ah, here is the original Leonardo Al Fresco, as he was known in the villages. Al Fresco, after whom my bald Uncle Al was named. Uncle Al was a perfect cross between Sir Elton John, and Dick Cheney, but I digress...
Note Mary Magdalene NOT holding Lennon's hand, but they do form a "V", which was code for "Cold Turkey has got me...on the run..."
peace.
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