May 25, 2004
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The Daily News
1 I was looking forward to hearing all that Bush had
had to say last night, but evidently his speech was
broadcast on cable stations only.
2 From what I have heard, I didn't miss much.
3 I just wanted to see how his war was going.
4 Let's see. I've been listening to the news all
morning, and doesn't seem to be much out
there. The war drones on; Michael Jackson hires
yet another lawyer; a couple of cops get in trouble
for making a porn flick, and the Bay Area morning
approaches are moving slowly.
5 All systems go.
6 Tonight the Y.B. Music Department brings the
Spring Concert into the Theatre at 7:30. Be sure
to get out and watch our award-winning Band,
Choir, Orchestra, and tonight a very special
performance by our Jazz Band!! The concert is
FREE, so bring a friend or two.
7 Have you heard those commercials for Jag-you-
ahhh? Okay, so this is random, but why do they
keep changing the pronunciation of things? It
began a few years back, when Hay-lee's comet
became Hal Lee's comet. My entire life it was
pronounced Hay-lee, and now it sounds like some
corpulent neighbor. To me, it'll always be pro-
nounced Hay-lee, and I don't even care how the
real Halley prounounced it.
8 So SOMEONE needs to tell me when the Jag
wahr became the Jag-you-ahh. My entire life
the word has been pronounced jag-wahr, and
suddenly, some snooty butler d00d voice-overs
a commercial, and changes it to "Jag-you-ahh".
9 Huh?
10 It's almost like the guy is saying, "If you pro-
nounce it 'jag-wahr', you can't afford it."
Well, la-di-da.
11 I hate prissy butler dudes. Wanna hit 'em.
12 I envision the guy announcing a breaking news
story: "And in Palo Ahlto today, members of
PETE-AH preh-eh-otested the police-shooting of
a jag-you-ahh that was running loose near a
grammuh school."
13 Puh-leeze.
14 Because of that, I'm NOT going to buy one.
15 That settles that.
16 Have a great TEE-YOUZ-DAY.
17 Peace.
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